Surprise! But Wait, There’s More…

When Myles was born we had our hands pretty full with 3 kids plus running a market stand.

3 years we decided. We would wait three years before we even started thinking about maybe adding a fourth child.

Those plans didn’t change, especially when we decided to move across the country to California.

However, it has always been our goal to allow space within our plans for God to adjust them as he sees fit.

I can honestly say, though, that we didn’t see this one coming.

In May 2020 we realized that baby #4 would be joining us in January 2021.

This wasn’t our plan and in my opinion the timing was pretty horrific.

But a baby is always a blessing and we were excited from the very beginning.

Fast forward to August 2020 we finally made it to Redding CA. It took a couple weeks to get settled in. Kenzie started school and Checkers started his job.

Then I started researching midwifery practices in Redding. I found one I liked, set up a consultation and left there pretty excited about them. They seemed to operate much like the midwifery practice I had used in PA.

Then I had an ultrasound done.

Are you ready for this??

They said there’s two babies!

So basically, God decided to surprise us with not only one addition but two!

(Also these babies are due to arrive about 6 weeks after Myles 3rd birthday. So, roughly a year earlier then we had planned.)🤷‍♀️🙂

This is the point where I learned that it is illegal for midwives to deliver twins in California.

Seriously?! 🤦‍♀️

So, all my previous research was a waste of time and I started all over again, this time in search of a DOCTOR. I did find one.👏

In case you’re wondering… yes we are quite excited to add two more little people to our clan.

We might have been surprised but we also know for sure that we are blessed beyond measure!❤️

Denouncing Lies, Changing Mindsets and Becoming Whole

I’ve said it before but since it hasn’t changed, I’ll say it again.

I find Psychology extremely fascinating.

Getting to the root of wrong mindsets is the key to living a life of freedom in Christ, in my opinion.

If the mind is the battleground between good and evil, then isn’t it important that we untangle the webs of lies that the devil has planted there?

Have you ever considered that the way you feel, the way you think, the things you believe in general and about yourself might actually be incorrect?

Is it possible that you are viewing the world not as it is, but as your life and the people in it have taught you to view it?

A couple weeks ago, in a class we’re doing, Steven Dasilvo shared part of his testimony…

He was actively involved in his church, served in a lot of positions and was living a passionate Christian life.

Yet, when God challenged him to say that he (Steven) is good, he couldn’t do it.

He literally couldn’t say that he himself was good.

As he wrestled through this, he realized that he thought of himself as good only when he was serving, but when he wasn’t serving (and not doing good) he didn’t think of himself as a good person.

As I listened to his story I thought back to a quote I read earlier this year. ‘Busyness is a false sense of importance.’

This phrase stuck with me and I felt like it applied to me somehow but I wasn’t sure how or why.

Here and now, though, is where the pieces all came together.


I love to ‘accomplish things.’

Like market… setting up the showcase with lots of fresh foods on Thursday mornings was so satisfying to me. #Accomplishment.

Cleaning everything up Saturday nights, washing all those pans that were now empty was equally satisfying. #Accomplishment.

Counting money, paying bills on Monday And taking the cash to the bank on Tuesday was also satisfying. #Accomplishment.

I thought of myself as a ‘good’ person when I was accomplishing things.

Can you guess what my biggest challenge is?

Being just a stay at home mom.

Sure it has its moments of accomplishment, like when I actually get the whole house cleaned in one day, or cook an exotic meal or do something fun with the kids.

Overall, though it can be a pretty mundane thing. Projects half finished because of interruptions due the kids having needs. #Unaccomplished.

Ending days feeling like I snapped at them more then I loved. #Unaccomplished.

Unfortunately, my children don’t rant and rave about our great customer service or our delicious food. They do enjoy letting me know though if they disapprove.😬 #Unaccomplished.

Do you see the problem yet?🤨

If I only feel good about myself when I’m accomplishing something, that leaves an awful lot of time when I don’t feel good about myself.

Also, how will I do the things well that do not make me feel accomplished?

In order to solve this problem, I need to be able to see myself as a good person no matter what I’m doing or not doing.

I’ve learned that easiest way to change the strongholds or lies in my thinking, is to get to the root of the problem.

So, over the last two weeks I’ve prayed about this and pondered over why I find my identity, in my doing.

Today it finally clicked.

Growing up, I often felt like I wasn’t good enough. I asked too many questions, I had the wrong personality and it felt no matter how hard I tried I still managed to do it wrong.

I tried so hard to be good, to do the right things, to be the right person, to simply be good.

Can you guess when I managed to feel good about myself?

When I was accomplishing things.

When I was doing laundry, washing dishes, cleaning up or changing diapers. These were the times when I was affirmed and therefore they became the times I felt like a good person.

The devil used this experience to plant the lie in my mind that I am only a good person when I’m accomplishing things.

This lie, followed me into adulthood and has to some degree dictated my actions and I have been absolutely oblivious to it.

I share all that to challenge you to think about the things you do or don’t do simply because of how they make you feel.

What lies do you believe? What is your identity planted in?

Do you feel like you’re not a good person even though you’ve fully surrendered your life to Jesus?

Do you feel like you need to prove yourself to the whole world or maybe it’s just to your family, your friends or just a random Person here or there?

Ask yourself why. Why? Think about it. Think about it alot.

If you are a born again, Jesus following Christian, who is secure in your identity in Christ there won’t be a single person out there who can make you doubt wether or not you’re a good person.

(BTW this is not the same as justifying your sins. If you have things in your life that need repenting of, please do not use this as a way to justify your actions. This isn’t about how others make you feel, this is about taking a good, hard look at yourself.)

Once you’ve identified something you do to feel good about yourself, I challenge you to not stop there. Pray about it, ask God to take you to the root of it.

Don’t stop till you understand why you believe this and what incident in your life allowed this lie to be planted.

This is the place, where you now have the ability to change that wrong mindset.

  1. Renounce the lie. Do it verbally. Declare the words out loud: ‘I am a good person because I’ve been washed in the blood of the lamb. I am not defined by the things I accomplish.’ (Use your own words though, whatever it is you struggle with.)🙃 Declaring something verbally breaks the chains holding you captive,
  2. Confess it. Bring it into the light. Tell someone. James 5:16 says: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Confessing to someone else and having them pray with you also breaks the chains holding you captive. Keeping silent on something gives the devil power, but he loses that power when you bring it into the light.
  3. Change the way you think. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,(A)and we take captive every thought to make it obedient(B) to Christ. Do this literally. When those old thought patterns surface, silence them immediately and allow only the things that God says to be true to have a place in your mind. ‘I am a good person because I’ve been washed in the blood of the lamb…

It’s amazing really. Our life experiences teach us to believe things that aren’t always true.

However, through the power of Holy Spirit all things can be made new. God can and will change all your wrong mindsets if you simply bring them to him.

Carrying these strongholds of the mind is more exhausting then we realize, and digging back through your past in order to get rid of them can be a painful process, but on the other side of the pain, the scars and the ugliness lies a freedom of mind that is exhilarating!

Again, I’m challenging you today to not be content with mediocre freedom. Because Jesus didn’t die on the cross to set us kinda free.

He died to set us fully, completely and totally free!

Why would we reject this gift he has so freely given to us?

Today is a good day to start pursuing the complete freedom he has made available to us.

Be blessed and be free!

California And How God Brought Us Here (Part 2)

If you haven’t yet, you might want to read part 1 to this, that way it will make more sense.🙂

After we established that moving to California Is something that we are going to do, we started making plans.

Me, I’m a list maker. My brain works better when everything is organized and planned. Things make more sense that way.

So, I made a couple lists. Things to do before our house is ready to sell. Things that need to happen to start a life in CA.

This list consisted of:

  1. Find a job for Checkers.
  2. Find a house.
  3. Find a school for Kenzie.
  4. Plan a trip to CA to iron out the details of the first 3.
  5. There was more, like setting up a bank account, switching over our drivers’ license, vehicle registration etc. but those first 3 looked the most daunting.

How does one find a job, a house or a school when you know no one and nothing about the area?😳

A quote I love: ‘When God brings you to it, he will also bring you through it.

We decided to start with a house, because if we don’t have a house, the job and school are pointless right?

Guys, there is lots of online resources to finding a house. Plus, there’s this thing called realtors.

Finding a house should be a breeze, even if it’s on the other side of the country. Right?


Here’s the thing: We still don’t have a house!!!🤦‍♀️

I read a couple of Dave Ramsey’s books a couple years ago, so I knew that he has ELPS (Endorsed local providers.) Basically if a realtor meets certain standards they can become an ELP and you know they’re seasoned, experienced realtors or they wouldn’t be on the list.

So, we went to Dave Ramsey’s website and filled out the form requesting a real estate agent in Redding CA.

Not much later, Checkers’ phone rang and he ended up talking with this realtor for 25 minutes. He learned that this guy and his family attend Bethel church. He also said he would text Checkers some numbers of construction people that might be hiring.

Guys, these things don’t just happen. This was one of those moments when God showed us that if we follow him, he will always make the impossible, possible.

Our realtor supplied Checkers with three numbers to call for job opportunities.

Construction guy one said, “Not hiring right now.’

Construction guy two said, “We’ll, I am hiring BUT I’m kinda looking for someone with experience.”

Checkers, “Oh, well I have 16 years experience in construction.”

Construction guy two with great excitement, “You’re hired!”

He did end up getting some references to call from Checkers but he pretty much had the job at that point.

Side note: Checkers’ boss also goes to Bethel. (Not that everyone we associate needs to go to Bethel church but like I said 👆 thes things don’t just happen.)

Find a job.✅

Enrollment for Bethel school opened March 1st, (I think) we got Kenzie’s application and submitted it ASAP. However Bethel fills up fast and she did not get in.

Bethel administration was extremely helpful though and recommended a couple of schools for us to look into.

Their first recommendation was Redding Christian School, so we found their website and were excited to learn that they have elementary and high school, unlike Bethel who just has elementary. They also offer a variety of sports, music etc. options that Bethel does not. So in many ways this was actually a step up!

Again, God brought us exactly what we were looking for before we even knew what we were looking for.

Finding a school for Kenzie.✅

If you want to read the story on selling our house and finding a house out here to buy, read my blog ‘California Bound.’

Long story short… we put our house on the market and it sold less then a week later for over asking price.

After this, a lady from our church came up to us and said: “I was praying for you guys and God said to tell you that you are on the right track! No matter what happens, your plans are not to change! You are on the right track!”

I’m thinking, ‘oh shoot, what is going to go wrong? I mean everything has nicely fallen into place so far and I haven’t doubted even once that this might not be the right move… so…”😳

Well guys, Covid happened.

Need I say more?🤨

Our house sale fell through, because the lady could no longer get her financing.

However, God was one step ahead of it all and I can honestly say we never doubted our decision. Because when God so clearly makes a way and has a hand in the tiniest of details it’s pretty easy to keep your eyes on the end goal even if the road there, takes a few unexpected detours.

I’m not saying it was easy though. I am a planner, therefore I like to make plans and then execute them perfectly.😎

But when God tells you that this is going to be a journey of faith in ways that you have never yet experienced…

Well, let’s just say, you probably should not take it lightly because he will teach you how to follow him even when it doesn’t make sense and you don’t know why he’s taking you in seemingly the wrong direction.

Through our journey this summer, God moved a lot of my head knowledge to heart knowledge.

If you know something with your head you might not fully believe it, but if you experience something, you will know it with your heart and this is the information that no person, no words and no circumstance can take away from you.

One thing that became heart knowledge for me was this: ‘If God closes one door, it’s because he’s opening a better door.’

Not an easier door, a nicer door or more fun door but a better one. A door that will prune away your rough edges, a door that will mold you more perfectly for the path he has set for you, a door that will lead you in the direction he has called you to and a door that will meet your needs better then you could have planned for yourself.

I have faith like never before that he knows what I want and need better then I do. So why fight it when he changes my plans?

He has challenged me so often this summer with these words: “You can go after what you want and you can have it, it’s your choice, or you can wait for what I have and know that it will fit your needs even better.”

It isn’t always easy but there is peace in knowing that I don’t have to figure everything out perfectly because if I let it in his hands he will set the perfect plan before us.

Summer 2020 was not an easy one for us. It often felt like we got stuck in the transition phase. When churches shut down we followed Bethel online (our future) then Threshold opened back up in a different building (we were in a school before) and it didn’t feel right or normal anymore plus it was hard to get started there again since we were leaving soon anyway. Yet, we hadn’t left yet and didn’t even know when we would for sure…

It wasn’t all that much fun to be honest but every time my frustration threatened to take over God would remind me that he has something for me to learn in every season. So, I have the option of pressing into him and letting this season refine me or I can simply endure it and miss so much of what God has for me.

And if we press into him he is there and he sends these little bits of encouragement along the way.

We had so many people speak life into our journey as they shared words of what they felt God saying about our journey here.

Most times it isn’t that God is silent, it’s that we aren’t listening.

There you have it. The story of how God made a way for us to move to CA.

The closing of one chapter, however, is also the start of a new one and we are excited to see what God has for us in this next season of life.

Moving across the country, Covid-19 and all the other things this crazy year of 2020 has thrown at us is not the end but the beginning of new things.

I read this meme recently: ‘Anyone else nervous about the 2020 finality?’🙃

California And How God Brought Us Here (Part 1)

Awhile ago I wrote a blog titled ‘California Bound.’ That was basically the steps we took to get here while this blog is focused more on the part God played in all of it.

Summer of 2018. I had this insatiable desire to know God on a deeper level. I spent hours listening to audio Bible, podcasts, YouTube sermons and I read an insane amount of books.

This is when I found Kris Valloton on YouTube and I listened to almost every message he has on there. And there’s a lot, guys, like a lot a lot!🙃

He was and is one of my favorite speakers because I can relate to so much of what he says. He teaches a lot on the spiritual realm and it’s a subject that causes a lot of people to raise their brows with a look that says, “Uh, I think you’re taking this too far.”

But it’s real guys, I know this as surely as I know my name. I can’t always explain it, but I can feel it and I know for sure that the spiritual realm is much closer then we think. It is effecting our life in ways that are hard to comprehend and even harder to explain.

Fall of 2018: Our life felt crazy busy, plus there was life problems to walk through that we had no idea how to navigate.

Life felt rather overwhelming.

Me: “Let’s move to California and go to Bethel Church.” (This is the church where Kris Valloton, Bill Johnson, Sean Feucht and more people that I found through my Youtube searches attend.)

Checkers was all in. It’s funny, really, I’m always the one to come up with the crazy ideas, like doing a DTS, foster care and moving to California but it’s Checkers that makes it happen. I would probably spend the rest of my life thinking about it, but he has a game plan in action before the words are even fully out of my mouth. (Ok, that might be stretched a little. Just a little tho!)

We talked about it for awhile but in the end we decided not to. We had a life in PA: market, Checkers had a good job, we owned a house, Kenzie loved her school and there were many more pros to staying where we were.

Summer of 2019: Life was still too busy, life’s problems we’re still unresolved. We felt trapped in the cycle of work and payments with little time for our family. Religion, strongholds and little acceptance for the choices we made felt like a noose around our necks.

We longed to break free, to live life to the fullest, to live the life we feel called to live, to have time for ministry, to be free from the judgement, to pursue more out of life then making money and paying the bills.

We revisited the dream of moving to California. We started praying about it.

Guys, it was crazy how quickly and completely God confirmed that moving across the country is the right move for us.

  1. In music class Kenzie was learning the song ‘Burn the Ships’ by King and Country. Every time it was her turn to pick the song for Worship she picked this song. After Checkers and me listened to the lyrics repeatedly, we finally googled it so we could read the words. Guys. It is crazy how much the words fit our feelings and emotions at that time, despite the fact that it’s actually talking about addiction.

Burn the Ships…

How did we get here?
All castaway on a lonely shore
I can see in your eyes, dear
It’s hard to take for a moment more
We’ve got toBurn the ships, cut the ties
Send a flare into the night
Say a prayer, turn the tide
Dry your tears and wave goodbye

Step into a new day
We can rise up from the dust and walk away
We can dance upon our heartache, yeah
So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships
And don’t you look back

Don’t let it arrest you
This fear is fear of fallin’ again
And if you need a refuge
I will be right here until the end
Oh, it’s time toBurn the ships, cut the ties
Send a flare into the night
Say a prayer, turn the tide
Dry your tears and wave goodbye

Step into a new day
We can rise up from the dust and walk away
We can dance upon our heartache, yeah… 

It’s time to burn the ships, cut the ties, dry your tears and wave good bye.

Confirmation from God, from an unexpected source (our 6 year old) doesn’t get much more specific then that.

2. A mentor of mine told me: “Life is harder when you stay in what’s familiar to you.”

This made so much sense to me but I’m not sure if I can accurately explain it. I’ll try tho.

You see, different regions have different strongholds. Different spirits that are ruling the area.

The spirits controlling the realm you grew up in, the ones you’re familiar with, will effect you more then those you’ve never experienced.

Therefore they will have more power over you and it will be harder to live the life you’ve been called to live, in that region. (Note: it’s harder but not impossible.)

3. This verse was highlighted to me over this time. Mark 6:4 And Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor, except in his hometown and among his relatives and in his own household.”

Nope, I am not proclaiming to be a prophet but I think there’s truth in this verse for every person, prophet or not. Our families and closest friends know the ugly details of our pasts. They know it all, the good, the bad and the in between.

How often do we hold people to those memories instead of giving them grace to change, to grow and to become who God has called them to be?

However, in a new region a person is often free to be who they are called to be without the hindrance of people keeping them tied to their past.

Again, you can be free anywhere, not everyone is called to move across the country. But for us, this was all confirmation that moving to California was the right move.

Those were the main signs of confirmation that we had but there was also many small, almost insignificant things, such as a random quote on FB, scripture verses that stood out that we never noticed before, different sermons and so much more that confirmed this to be the right move.

At this point we had already tentatively started moving forward with plans to move to CA. We laid out a basic plan and timeline.

To be continued…

What If Revival Looks Differently Then We Expect

America’s conservative people are suddenly shocked at the moral decay we see all over our country right now.

They are outraged, and they should be.

But I can’t help but ask…

Where have we been? Why did it take something extreme like Covid-19 to wake us up?

Everything that’s going on right now… this isn’t new guys. This agenda has been promoted for years. The spirits at work now are the same ones that have been controlling our media, entertainment and government for a really long time.

And yes, they’ve been slowly taking over the church too.

Why didn’t we see it before?

Why did we wait till our freedom and our children’s lives were at risk to stop turning a blind eye to the evil that has been infiltrating our country, our government, our entertainment, media and sports?

We made no effort to stop it until it permeated every inch of our society. Why?

The even bigger why that I have is this… Why are some Christians still trying to turn a blind eye to it? To the point where we shame other Christians for taking a stand.

(Sean Feucht says the online trolling is coming from mostly Christians.)

Seriously guys, Why?

Netflix is being cancelled by many conservatives right now and they should be.

But guys… Netflix should have been canceled a long time ago.

Yes, they took it to the next level with the ‘cuties’ movie but the majority of their shows before this weren’t exactly Christian material either.

Do we realize that if conservatives had banded together before and took a stand against Netflix, we probably wouldn’t be here now?

Do we realize that our government has been playing us for years?

Covid isn’t the first political scam that they have used to farther their agenda.

If you take a good look at the cold, hard facts of 9/11, it is blindingly obvious that it was not a terrorist attack but probably an inside job.

Where were we?

I’m not entirely sure what my point is here…

Maybe it’s this: Our country and our freedom is being threatened by people with evil intentions.

That is the facts.

I don’t know what exactly their end goal is but I do know that it isn’t what God has in mind for America.

A lot has been exposed this year but I don’t think we’ve yet seen just how deeply this evil agenda runs.

I think ‘cuties’ is mild compared to what these people are capable of.

So, the question is: ‘Are we going to see it, or are we going to continue to ignore it?’

It is time for Christians to take a stand. It is time for Christians to get involved in politics, entertainment and it’s high time we highjack the media and start using their platforms to promote truth.

We have seen the influence that these platforms have. They have people wearing masks and social distancing over a virus that isn’t much worse then the average flu. If it’s even worse at all.

Can you imagine how far we could spread the gospel and how many lives could be impacted positively if we had Christians running these platforms?

It’s time for us to step up and be the voices that are being heard. It’s time to drown out the hopelessness and be the voices of hope.

Sean Feucht’s massive ‘Let us Worship’ events have proven that people are desperate for hope, for worship and for Jesus.

It is time to stop following the world’s ideas and focus on what God is doing in this season.

It is time to be ‘the light of the world.’

I believe with all my heart that God isn’t done with America yet. I believe that what looks like evil taking over is actually revival being ushered in.

Here’s the problem tho…

How will we respond if revival doesn’t look like we think it should?

How will we respond if God does things differently then we expect?

How will we respond when God uses people like Donald Trump, Kanye West and Justen Bieber to bring revival to our land?

I don’t know who God plans on using but I do know that if you read through the Old Testament he often choose people who were far from perfect.

God isn’t looking for perfect people, he’s looking for those who (like David) are ‘men after his own heart.’

Did you know that the Jews were expecting and waiting for a Messiah?

Did you know that many of those same people rejected Jesus?


I think there’s two main reasons:

  1. God didn’t send the Messiah in the way they expected.
  2. The Messiah challenged their beliefs and their systems.

I believe this is where we are right now.

I believe that revival is coming but it doesn’t look like we expect it too.

I believe that we are seeing the end of church as we know it.

Because when Jesus came to earth, he didn’t come to applaud them on their organization skills or their perfect, smooth flowing systems.

He came to separate good and evil. He came to bring light, deliverance, healing and hope.

Matthew 10:34. “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send [or bringpeace, but a sword.”

Considering how long the church has not only tolerated but also participated in the evil in our land, I don’t think God is going to applaud our man made systems either.

I think he’s going to bring the church back to his design. A people that is focused more on the heart of the father then on creating a perfect system.

A church that cares more about laying down our lives and about true repentance, then we do about keeping everyone happy.

The question is: are we going to get on board With what God is doing?

Are we willing to lay down our ideas, our wants and our wishes for his will?

Are we willing to be moldable, to be fully surrendered to his plan?

Are we willing to let go of everything we hold dear, for the better life of complete and total surrender to the gospel?

Threshold Church: A Gem In Lancaster

We’ve been with Threshold Church for almost exactly five years.

Since we’ve moved to CA we can no longer be a part of their physical gatherings but Threshold will always hold a special place in our hearts and I thought I’d share about our time spent there.

For us Threshold has been a place of healing, of renewed hope and it’s deepened our understanding of the spiritual realm.

A bit of my story…

At 19 years old I knew that my life held childhood pain that needed to be dealt with.

I went for counseling as this was the only form of ‘sorting out my issues’ that I knew of.

I lasted all of 2 sessions… I wanted answers, solutions and ideas on how to move past it all. I did not want someone looking at me with pity in their eyes while I shared the mucky pain of my past.

(I’m not completely anti-counseling but I think it’s important to recognize that not all counselors are equal)

Plan B involved self help books. I was randomly introduced to the book called ‘D.I.S.C.  Positive Personality Profile.’ I realized for the first time that my personality wasn’t wrong. There is simply different personalities and we aren’t all expected to be the same.

My research led me down the path of learning about psychology which was and still is an interesting study to me since mental illness runs in my family line tracing back many generations.

Yet, it didn’t matter how much I learned, there was still a missing piece that I just couldn’t find.

Then we started attending Threshold Church. We weren’t  going there long before I realized that Jake Kail seemed to have all the answers I couldn’t find.

Deliverance from demons was the missing link.

(Side note: The medical world can diagnose mental illness somewhat accurately but they are not equipped with the right tools to set people completely free.)

My testimony…

During a deliverance service one Sunday I was set free from the spirit of rejection. After the service Jake asked for a show of hands from anyone that felt something physically leave them.

I wasn’t going to raise my hand because I hadn’t actually felt something leave I just knew that it was gone. However I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to raise my hand.

You see, when God does something he does it completely. I was raised to cover my emotions and to ‘look good’ no matter what. Covering up pain, problems and short comings was preferable over admitting to being less then perfect.

I was fine with being set free secretly but raising my hand and admitting that I had a need to be set free was almost impossible. However, I wanted that freedom more then I wanted to look good and as I raised my hand God broke off the ‘fear of man’ that I carried.

I was also set free from anxiety. This was a postpartum thing for me and not something I dealt with on a regular basis. It did however last from my babies’ birth to around their first birthday usually.

I prayed endlessly for freedom from this thing that overwhelmed my mind at times.

On a Saturday night before Threshold’s annual baptism service I felt God say that baptism was my key to freedom in this area.

Again God tends to get to the root of a problem. I avoid the spotlight at all costs. Being front and center is not something I enjoy. To be honest it’s terrifying to me.

I would have preferred a less dramatic approach here but I was pretty desperate to be free as well.

Yet as I stood on the bank of that pond, fear reared it’s ugly head, I felt it’s claws wrap around me, my mind was consumed by chaotic white noise (not sure how else to explain it.) I knew that physically, there was no way, I was going to move myself into that water.

One thought filtered through the noise in my head. “God the only way I can do this is if you silence my fear long enough for me to move from this spot.”

He did. I got baptized and fear/anxiety lost it’s grip on me that day.

Moving forward My life was changed dramatically.

I found it easier to connect with people. I used to leave church or any crowded place with a headache, I found this to no longer be the case. I also no longer dreaded big events with lots of people. Overall I found people less intimidating and for the first time in my life I actually enjoyed being with people that I wasn’t close too.

Steve’s testimony…. (I’m sharing this with his permission. He even got to read it and approve it before I published this.)🙂

Passivity was his biggest struggle.

Would you believe me if I said that we never argued the first couple years of our marriage?

We didn’t. We both tend to avoid conflict but the main problem was he always just kinda nodded and agreed with anything I said.

You might be thinking that not arguing is a good thing but the truth is, if there is no passion there is also no emotional intimacy,

This frustrated me to no end and I know I told him more then once in an irritated tone.😬 “Don’t just agree with me, I want to know what you think!”

Long story short… he went up for prayer at church one Sunday (also a deliverance service) and got set free from some things.

Imagine my surprise soon after that when he actually told me that he disagrees with my opinion.

My face:😳

It’s been a journey but these days we can actually passionately discuss things and he tells me when he doesn’t agree with something I say or do or even the way I navigate situations with the kids sometimes.

I no longer feel like I’m trying to navigate our marriage, parenting and our life decisions by myself.

To be honest it took some getting used to on my part.🙃 But it is absolutely amazing and I have no desire to go back in time.

P.S we still don’t argue but we do disagree at times.😜

The conclusion: I’ve seen and heard Threshold Church and it’s leadership be attacked on many occasions. Sadly it comes from professing Christians every single time.

Threshold isn’t perfect but they have taken a stand against lukewarm Christianity. They are Holy Spirit led. They do not tolerate or sugar coat sin, they call it what it is.

At Threshold, people find spiritual freedom and answers to life problems that you can’t find just anywhere.

Threshold church does not cater to those who desire to be placated or to live out only parts of the Christian life.

Again Threshold isn’t perfect. But they have set a high standard of laying down your life for the gospel, and this is the reason that they have been slandered relentlessly by those who want comfortable instead of growth.

I also want to mention a couple people from Threshold who have either knowingly or unknowingly influenced our lives.

• Jake & Anna Kail… You both speak truth despite the backlash. Your ministry brings freedom to probably more people then you will ever know. Blessings to you guys!

• Dale and Barbara Works… You spend so much time praying for so many people. You are truly a gift to many of us as you listen to our stories, direct us to be led by the Holy Spirit while also inserting words of wisdom. We are honored to have the privilege of knowing you guys.

•Peter & Laura Andrews… You live a life that is so obviously surrendered to the Lord. The way you parent, the way you serve and simply the way you navigate life has been an inspiration to us.

• Helen Doolittle and Steph King… Because of the time and energy you two put in, Threshold is blessed with a kid’s ministry that is intentional about connecting our kids to the heart of the father. We appreciate you both.

• There is many more people worth mentioning but for the sake of space here, please know that we valued the friendships we formed and we love each one of you that touched our lives while we were there.

I’m excited to see where God takes Threshold in the future!

And if you want to walk in greater freedom, Threshold leadership has the resources to help you.

I will leave you with this quote from Kris Valloton:

In this day and age, you can do just about anything and still be called a christian but you can’t do a lot of those things if you want to be called a follower of Jesus.”



Two Going On Twelve

Personalities have fascinated me for a long time.

No two people are exactly alike and I’ve often wondered how God doesn’t run out of new designs. 🤓

Myles’ personality is a lot like Kenzie’s but he adds his own spice too it.

We laugh at his antics probably more then we should but how not to?🤦‍♀️

Here’s some Myles stories for you…

1. We got back from dropping Kenzie off at school.

Kyna promptly jumped out of the car and ran off to better things.

I was collecting all our junk from the car before unbuckling Myles.

I guess it was taking too long because he starts mumbling from the back seat, “Uh, a little help here.”

2. I was in the kitchen, making a smoothie when Myles came along.
He eyed the banana in my hand and said, “I want some!”

Me: “No, Myles, we’re going to eat supper soon.”

He put on his fiercest face, raised his fisted hands in the air and declared, “I’m gonna use my superpowers!”

“Sorry buddy, I do not feel threatened… yet.”🤨

3.  Myles is often the odd one out, as his two older siblings are more on the same level with their play and Myles is the more destructive one when it comes to their shaky creations that have no solid foundations.

So, they aren’t always kind with their words and actions when he knocks down yet another ‘building.’

My goal is for them to understand how their words and actions affect the person they’re directed at.

So, I have been known to say things like,”Look at Myles eyes, it hurts his heart when you talk to him like that.”

This is probably why, when Checkers used his ‘you need to listen voice’ one night, that Myles replied, “Daddy! You hurt my heart!” 🤦‍♀️🙃

I can’t wait to see what he comes up with as he gets older.

I think.😅

California Bound

In September 2014 we did a DTS. The theme was ‘Unswerving Hope and Reckless Surender.’

We have made it our life goal to live by those words.

The gospel is a story of hope. Any situation, yes, even the Covid pandemic, can be seen with hope of better things to come if we focus on Christ. If the situation is bringing despair and hopelessness to your life then you’re probably focused on what the devil is trying to accomplish instead of what God is doing.

Reckless Surender. I included the definition of reckless here because it’s a word I’d rather not identify with but in this context it is fitting.

  1. (of a person or their actions) without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action.

When God asks me to do something, the best thing to do, is to just do it, without considering the consequences because if he wants us to do it, he already knows all the details and doesn’t need to us try to control the end results.

Our plans to move to CA have taken us to a whole new level of Reckless Surender.

As we started planning for this move, I felt like God was saying that this trip was going to take more faith then we anticipated and a whole lot of trusting God when the situation looked impossible.

The Process…

Last summer (2019) we started making plans to move to California. (Maybe sometime I can blog about what brought us to this decision but for now I’ll just tell the story of after we decided to move.)

We had a perfect plan.


Please note: If you invite God along on your journey, you might as well not make plans because he’s got a better one.

Our plan: After New Years we would start renovating our house: paint everything, put new flooring and new vanities in 2 bathrooms, new floor and new toilet in the 3rd bathroom, put a new floor in the mudroom, paint the front doors and all the shutters black and put in new garage doors.

We figured it would take about 2 months so by March 1st our house would be on the market and should be sold by June 2nd which was to be the last day of school, then we would leave for CA sometime between the 2nd and the 9th.

We were going to buy a house out there and spend the summer settling in before Kenzie started school out there.

That was our plan.

Here’s how things really went…

We started our renovations on time but it took longer the we planned and in the end we were in the second week of March (on a Thursday) before we finally got it listed.

But everything started out with a bang, we had like 5 or 6 showings between Thursday and Saturday. Sunday we had an open house and had a great turn out. (12-ish couple i believe.)

By the end of the week we had our house under contract. It was listed at $299,500 but we were getting $300,000 for it because the lady that was buying it knew there was 2 other people interested and I guess she wasn’t taking any chances and we weren’t about to complain.😎

The only problem was she didn’t want to wait till June 2nd to have settlement but she did agree to wait then, when she realized that we couldn’t really leave till school was out. However June 2nd meant we were leaving here the same day school ended which was making our schedule pretty tight but we’d make it work somehow.

And then….

There came Covid.🤦‍♀️ Tom Wolf started shutting everything down. I don’t know what this lady’s story is exactly but I know that due to covid She could no longer get financing to buy our house.

Our realtor suggested taking our house off the market because everyone pretty much hit pause and was waiting to see what was going to happen.

So that’s what we did.

Fast forward to May, our realtor got in touch wit Checkers and suggested putting it back on the market, despite real estate still being shut down, if we still wanted to move in June.

Houses were still selling slowly through virtual tours and brave buyers who bought without seeing the house in person.

For about 2 weeks we didn’t see much action other then maybe 3 or 4 zoom tours that Checkers did with potential buyers.

One put an offer in for $285,000.

Guys. We were getting $300,000 before covid this was almost an insult.😜 We did, however counter offer $295,000. Which brought him up to $290,000 but we didn’t negotiate farther because we were convinced: if God can get us over asking price once he can do it again, so it just kinda stopped there for about a week.

And then real estate open up, and we had a couple showings scheduled instantly.

We now had a second interested buyer who was willing to top the first potential buyers $290,000 offer.

So these two bid it out and the first guy ended up with the winning bid at $300,000. (That’s a God story, not a coincident.)

At this point we knew settlement wouldn’t happen till the end of June so we pushed our moving date back to June 24th or 30th depending how soon we could make settlement happen,

June 6th we flew to CA for a week in hopes of finding a rental property. We also got to meet Checkers boss to be and Kenzie got to see the school she’ll be attending.

Originally we were going to buy a house but we couldn’t agee on what to buy. My goal was to buy a duplex or a 4plex and squish ourselves in one tiny unit then turning the rest into air BnBs. It was the perfect plan in my opinion, it gave me something to do plus earned us some extra income.

Checkers, however, couldn’t see us moving our 5 people into a 2 bedroom, roughly 1000 square ft house. He wanted to buy a decent sized house that we actually fit into.(he probably had a point)😂

Finally we decided we would rent and then we’d have all the time in the world to look around for something to buy.

So we spent the week in CA looking at rentals.

Guys. Rent in Redding CA is insane. I guess rentals are a high demand due to all the BSSM students that flood Redding every year.

For a decent rental we were going to be spending around $1800-$2000 a month😳 If we took the buying route, our mortgage for the same size house would only be around $1200 a month.

So we went back to buying.🤦‍♀️😅

This was mid June so we knew that if we buy, with settlement our move was going to be pushed back to mid or even end of July.

At this point we’re thinking: “Well school starts August 13th as long as we’re out there before then.”

We spent a little over a week looking at houses and put an offer in.

It was a bank owned house and they turned down our offer. No explanation, no counter offer. Just nothing. Ok. Dead end.

We put an offer in on another house. It was sold before they even got to us.

Next house, same thing.

By now we just needed a house. We were ready to settle on just about anything, I mean if we hated it we could always sell it and another one. Right?

Anyway 4 offers later we were about ready to pull our hair out. (It’s funny, when we discussed moving out there, finding a job for Checkers was what looked the most complicated, because who just hires a complete stranger from PA, you know? Well guess what, a job was the first thing we had lined up.)🤷‍♀️

A house looked easy however, I mean u can find rentals or house to buy pretty much anywhere, right?

Well, a house was the last piece to the puzzle that just didn’t fit.

We we’re talking about this Dilemma one night and I said: “We might as well just buy a truck and camper, we could pay it off right away and move out there completely debt free, not even a mortgage.”


I wasn’t serious. Like not at all. But Checkers was all in and he convinced me to actually consider it while he listed all the pros:

• We have a place to sleep on the way out and won’t have to spend on motel rooms.

• We can rent a long term campsite for $550 a month, utilities included instead of spending $1200 on a mortgage, utilities not included.

• This takes care of the second vehicle we need and were going to buy out there.

• our long term plan is for Checkers to start his own business, this way we can save more towards that plus he already has the truck he’ll need.

• There is a lot of land for $30-$40 thousand out there with sewer and water hook ups but no buildings, due to the fires that went through a couple years ago. We could buy one of these and park our camper on it now and eventually build on it.

• We can then rent out our camp as a rental for BSSM students or air BNB.

• Or we could rent out our camper, probably year around, because it’s a camping kind of area.

•And we can go camping or sightseeing along the west coast often if we own a camper.

Honestly, if we keep our living costs this low for awhile, the possibilities are endless.

And that is why we ended up with a camper that is currently being renovated and why we plan on living in it for a year or so.

That’s our plan

The truth is though, I have no idea what God’s plan is, but I do know that is plan has proven to be superior to ours every single time.

Let the adventures begin continue.😎

Camper renovation pictures: (before and after)368E48BE-0158-4237-B752-D8382A416CD4




Masks, Christians And Facebook Wars

I’m here (on my blog) because I have a lot I would like to say but will not say, because I refuse to be the person that argues or slams others on FB.

My blog, however, is my space. Because you don’t need to read them if you don’t like my opinions. Still, even here it is my goal to be respectful, considerate and open minded while sharing my view and opinions.

However, it doesn’t seem to matter how much I word and reword something, it doesn’t matter how much I tone it down or how many things I don’t say that I would like to say, it seems people still end up offended, or read things into what I said that honestly never even crossed my mind.

When I blog I often feel like it isn’t possible to fit my entire perspective into 1500 words or less. There is angles I leave uncovered and arguments that I leave unsaid.


Because its a blog, not a book.

How much more true is all that👆 When people squeeze their opinion in a 20 or 30 word FB comment?

And yet, we read that tiny snippet of someone’s opinion and then we roast them with ours.

There’s a lot they didn’t say but we fill in the blanks with how we assume they meant it. We judge their motives, we judge their situation and we are fully and completely convinced that we know exactly what kind of ‘off track idiot’ they are and yet we have never even met them in person.

And sometimes we do know them in person but we slam them from behind a screen with words we would never use to their face.

I don’t like confrontation. So much so that I used to avoid it at cost. After all Matthew 5:9 says: Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Then a friend pointed out that it says peace makers not peace keepers.

A peace keeper will avoid conflict, will avoid the problems and issues that lay beneath the surface in order to maintain an artificial form of peace.

A peace maker will strive to get rid of everything that stands in the way of the genuine peace of God. Yes, the process doesn’t look peaceful but the end results equals peace made.

That is why I don’t believe Christians are supposed to stay silent when Things like this pandemic happen.

This battle is spiritual. If the Christian stays silent, won’t evil win?

That is why I think Christians should use social media, because again if we stay silent on social media, are we not leaving a massive social influencing site to be run by evil agendas?

Pennsylvania is in the midst of a major mask debate. The people that would like to go mask free are losing. I don’t think it’s because there’s less of us, I think it’s because most of us are “peacekeeping Christians“ and the mask wearers seem to be largely liberals.

And in case u didn’t notice liberals fight for what they want. They get loud.

Just to be clear. I do not agree with their strategies nor do I recommend for anyone to follow their examples.

However, I would like to point out that taking action gets results while staying silent gives the impression of submission.

I think we need to take action. That we need to speak up.

There’s such a fine line here though.

There’s quite a few people that I follow and I love their passion, I agree with most of what they say but then they use sentences like “if you can’t see this or that, then you are part of the problem!” Or “wake up!” Or “every pastor needs to open their churches now!”

Basically, what those sentences are saying is that if you don’t believe exactly as I do then you’re wrong!

This isn’t going to help anyone nor will it change anyone’s mind.

Not to mention it doesn’t sound much different then people proclaiming: “if you don’t wear a mask, you must not care about anyone but yourself.”

Also, engaging in lengthy, hateful FB debates will not change anyone’s opinions.

I can’t say that I know exactly how it should be done but I do know that there is people that manage to accomplish it.

Here’s some things that I try to keep in mind while on FB…

1. Am I leaving room for other people’s opinions Or am I bulldozing them with my own?

2. Is it true, or am I spreading information that might be incorrect?

3. I will not try to be politically correct because I believe this interferes with the work of the Holy Spirit.

4. If it’s a subject (like masks) that the Bible gives no clear direction on one way or another then my opinion isn’t the only one that’s right.

5. Am I assuming I know someone’s entire life just because of one comment they made?

I have made social media mistakes. There is definitely no ‘one size fits all’ and I am far from a pro at all of this.

I do know though that the liberal agenda on FB is exhausting.

They don’t seem to care about the truth but only about everyone doing things the way they think it should be done.

Here’s some questions I would love to have answers to…

1. Why is it ok for people to believe that masks should be mandatory but unacceptable for people to think it should be a personal choice?

2. Why is it considered racist to say all lives matter, but it is not racist to say there’s such a thing as ‘white privilege?’ Go find the definition of racism.

3. Why is ok to say that covid-19 is an extremely dangerous virus even though the survival rate is over 99% but it’s not ok to say that this is obviously about more then a virus.

4. Why is it ok to shut down someone’s business that might only serve a hundred customers a day but it’s not ok to expect box stores like Costco who serves hundreds of customers a day to shut down. If this is about stopping the spread shouldn’t we spread the people out rather then sending them all to the same store?

5. Why is it ok to trust the government without a second thought but it’s not ok to question their inconsistent actions?

6. Why is ok to say that masks work when even the box you buy them in clearly says they don’t but it’s not ok to say that they don’t work even though the box clearly says they don’t?

7. Why do some people get to have an opinion while others are expected to stay quiet?

8. Why is ok to riot and cause mass destruction To other people’s properties but it’s not ok to defend your own property?

9. Why is it ok to gather a large crowd to riot but not ok to go to church?

10. Why is it ok to ignore the facts that are very clearly evident but not ok to ignore the government?

11. Why is it ok to hear only what we want to hear but not ok to speak the truth?

12. Why is it ok to abort babies and run a huge trafficking organization but considered unloving to open legitimate businesses.

13. Why is ok to be concerned about people dying from covid when that’s barely even happening anymore but not ok to be concerned about people committing suicide due to covid restrictions when this is still happening?

I could go on but let me share this quote I read recently instead…

When evil is tolerated, it becomes normal.

When evil is normal, it becomes acceptable.

When evil is accepted, it will be promoted.

When evil is promoted, it becomes a way of life.

Once evil becomes a way of life, evil is called good and good is called evil.

(Pretty sure I butchered that one a bit, but it went something like that.)

Why guys? Why is it ok to bash every single person on FB that we disagree with but not ok have an opinion of our own?

We would like to blame Tom Wolf for being a tyrant and for government overreach (which is all very true) but the truth is… it’s not Wolf that’s hurting the people.

It’s us. We’re hurting ourselves.

We’re hurting ourselves by ignoring the facts and the truth. We are allowing ourselves to be dictated.

Do you realize that if each person minded their own business and took care of themselves and their own health rather then putting that responsibility on the people around them Wolf would be powerless?

If we took responsibility for ourselves rather then ratting out other people and trying to tell them how to live their lives, we wouldn’t  even have a problem right now.

Yes, ultimately this all falls back on Wolf and his actions but there is a chain of command and if each person would step up and refuse to promote unconstitutional orders, Wolf would have no power.

Dare to take a stand against political correctness guys, dare to seek the truth, dare to take a stand against entitlement, dare to go against the opinions of others.

Refuse to carry the blame that they try to dump on you when you don’t fall for their manipulation. It isn’t yours to carry.

Because, I can promise you, you will never get it right for this kind of spirit. They ask and we give but then they ask for more, so we give more, yet they will demand even more and will never be satisfied.

Because no matter what they say…

You are not the problem.

They are.



Covid-19 And The Spirit Behind It

Three months ago Chester County was put under the stay at home order.

We live in Chester county and were one of the first counties under lockdown.

My reaction was one of frustration, irritation, annoyance and probably every other emotion that isn’t good.

Checkers called me out. “It’s called fear, Grace.” He said.

I almost shifted my angry emotions from Wolf to him, but I knew he was right.

I wasn’t afraid of the virus, but I am terrified of being controlled.

Fear was the first tactic used through this pandemic. Fear spread Like wildfire and it was promoted by the media, because fear will stop people in their tracks. Fear will turn a bold person into frozen statue. Fear will cause you to look for safety. Which the government proclaimed they were ready to provide. (See How That all worked in their favor?)

Tom Wolf’s actions were a trigger for me, I was well aware of that from the beginning.

If you’ve been under the influence of a spirit you will recognize it subconsciously before you can even put into words what you’re feeling.

You see, there was a time in my life when I was controlled. Manipulated. Not allowed to form my own opinions. Expected to obey and conform with no room to think and act for myself.

On the other side of that I can tell you that giving up my freedom for safety is not worth it.

I would rather face a virus with a 100% death rate then live under someone else’s idea of what is best for my life.

Death is safer then being controlled. I am sure of that.

That is why we never followed the stay home mandate. We didn’t go to church since it was closed but other then that our life went on pretty much as normal. We respected those who were following the stay home orders but other then that we visited who we wanted, when we wanted.

In case you’re wondering… no, I never felt guilty for ignoring the governor’s orders.

Why not?

Because, I’m a rule follower by nature. I don’t have a problem with authority figures who lead fairly.

However, I have a major problem with authority figures who abuse their power, who control, manipulate and dominate instead of leading.

I honestly don’t think the government should at any time have the right to tell people they have to close their businesses and stay home.

I think it should be my risk to take. Close my business on my own, or take my chances of catching this virus. My life, my choice.

This is where the manipulation started. (You see, fear lost its power eventually so a new tactic was needed.)

“It’s not that we think a lot of people will die from the virus, we are afraid of hospitals being overwhelmed.” They said.

This statement is manipulative because it’s basically saying that if you care about anyone but yourself you will do as I say. (Again, I’ve been there, done that. Unconstitutional, abusive orders do not need to be followed.)

Also… I would say Trump proved, by bringing in hospital ships, that hospitals were not going to be overwhelmed right away.

“My mask protects you, your mask protects me.”

”You care more about your business then you do about people dying.”

”Stay home or people will die.”

Those are just a few of the many manipulative comments that have been used throughout this whole thing.

For the most part I think most of this goes back to Wolf.

He knows that most people are more concerned about keeping their businesses afloat then they are at staying physically safe from a virus.

So he turned the whole thing around and said if you care about the people around you, you will willingly suffer. Willingly lose your business. Willingly be unable to afford to feed your family. (Because we’ve got to be loving, right?)

I’m sorry guys but it just doesn’t work that way.

Even the airlines tell you in case of an emergency always put on your own mask first before helping others.

Why? Because you will help people better if you yourself have enough oxygen. If you run out of oxygen you and all the people you could have helped will die.

If you want to help others, you must first help yourself.

I believe we’ve seen more damage done to PA in the form of suicides, drug abuse, depression, business closures and what not then we would have seen Covid deaths if we had never shut anything down.

But… that’s just my opinion and there is really no way to test my theory.

This spirit will stop at nothing.

Once people saw through the manipulation, it brought out the ‘you’re an egotistical idiot’ tactic.

Do you really think you know better then the experts?! The experts always know better then the common people. There is a reason they’re called experts!” (Actuallyin the case of Covid it seems they don’t.)

Again, people eventually see it for what it is, but keep in mind this spirit never loses. It’s next tactic is to a complete 180.

Like starting riots all over America, and we’re over here like wait… weren’t we talking about a virus?! And just like that you find yourself being called a racist for being worried about a virus when there is obviously a much bigger issue.

Do you see what just happened there? You are suddenly being accused as the one responsible for promoting a virus that 2 seconds ago you were fighting against.

This spirit is entitled and it hates unity. It’s ultimate goal is cause division amongst people. And it NEVER admits defeat.

Once it’s fully backed into a corner, it changes tactics. It shifts blame from itself to others. It changes colors, personalities and does whatever it has to do to come out on top.

But it never, ever admits defeat. It never admits to being wrong.

If it does admit to being wrong, it will still point its finger at someone else, such as: ‘Yes, I messed up but it was because you gave me inaccurate information!’

This spirit leaves under one and only one condition.

That condition is called true repentance.

Feel good apologies, finding loopholes rather then admitting actual fault, blame shifting, and more are all permission slips for this spirit to stay.

It is powerful, it is deadly and currently I’d say it has a massive grip on our country.

Nope, I don’t know how to fully get rid of this spirit when it’s running rampant in a country.

I do know that since it’s a principality and not a demon it cannot be cast out. I also know that if you give it no voice in your life it will be subdued, but without complete and total repentance it will never be fully gone.

Again, I don’t know how to take America back from the grips of this Spirit, but I do know that it cannot coexist with the Holy Spirit.

So, maybe we can override it with prayer. I think it would be amazing to see 24/7 prayer at the capitals of every single state.

I don’t have any ideas on how to actually accomplish that though.

The political fight for our country is very real but I think if we win the spiritual fight the rest will all fall into place.

As Trump says: Make America great again!