What Does It Look Like To Let Go And Let God

This is the question that has been bouncing around in my head for almost a year.

I have spent my entire life living cautiously.

You know… A ‘look before you leap.’ ‘Do the math and make sure the numbers line up’ kind of life.

For the last year I have felt like God is saying: ‘Just let it all go.’

But let what go?!

Maybe God does this to everyone or maybe I’m just really slow, but he does this thing where he answers every single question I ask with the same Phrase.

Maybe he knows that I like to think, so he gives me one phrase to ponder for, yes quite literally, it’s been a year.

Either way, it’s kind of infuriating at times, especially when I have no idea what he wants me to let go of,

I Am an all or nothing kind of person, I either do it or I don’t, I’m in or I’m out. If it’s not worth doing completely then there’s no need to do it at all.

Maybe God wants me to be more mediocre?

It’s been ingrained in my head that above all else, one must look good, no matter what the situation actually is, you make it look good and you’ll be alright.

Maybe God is saying I try too hard to look good?

Where I come from the opinion of man is held in high regard.

Maybe I care to much about others’ opinions?

Yet, none of these or any of the others I came up with felt like ‘the thing’ that God was trying to point out.

And then someone used the phrase: “I’m just trying to do the right thing.”

And I knew, right then and there, in that very moment that this is what God wants me to let go of.

I try so very hard to get it right.

Everything I do or ever did was well calculated.  I rarely act on impulse.

I still make plenty of mistakes but at least they are well thought through mistakes.🙃

I can spend an insane amount of time weighing the pros and cons on something, in fact I think so long and hard sometimes that I talk myself out of doing it, because just maybe there is some life altering con in there that I haven’t thought of yet.

And that, my friends, is the problem.

You see, caution is good, but overthinking can be lethal to the things God wants you to do.

When God tells you to go tell some random guy at a conference that God loves him, you should probably just do it and not over think it. Because when you start thinking instead of doing, you’ll realize that said guy looks really grumpy and intimidating and would probably prefer you to stay far away from him, so you don’t do it and then spend the next month wishing you would have simply followed that one simple instruction instead of thinking yourself out of it.

True story, guys, don’t be like me.

Sometimes, when God says do it, it doesn’t make sense to me.

Like when I was busy running a business plus trying to be a mama to two kids, I was pretty much going slightly crazy with how busy my schedule was and God said, “I want you to sign up for that.”

That’ was no small commitment.

So, for about a month I tried to convince God that it would be a terrible idea, but he persisted.

Finally, I filled out the application.

I had no more then submitted it, when I got my peace back and along with it came a certainty that I would not get the position.

When I asked God why he wanted me to fill out an application for something he didn’t even want me to do, he said it’s called faith. He wants me to trust him enough that I will do whatever he asks even if it looks too big to me, because I don’t know the outcome, but he does. All he wants from me, is for me to trust his lead, to submit to his will.

And that’s the problem with trying to do the right thing. If that is my focus, then I overthink it, instead of simply following his lead.

When I try to get it right, I need to know the end before I can start and from my experience God rarely lets us in on the end results, he just gives us one step at a time.

When I try to do the right thing, it is often my idea of what’s right.

That is why he is asking me (and you?) to let go of the desperate need to do the right thing.

It’s not about doing the right thing it’s about doing what he asks, and sometimes it will make you look like an idiot.

Sometimes it hurts because not everyone will see it the way you do. And every once in awhile it’s rewarding.

My stats aren’t all that great. I seem to get about one hit for every three strikes.

However, he never said that it would be easy but he did promise never to leave us or forsake us.

So, when he speaks will I act or will I think myself out of it?

Am I really willing to let go of my need to get it right and simply follow him?

Especially if that means there’s a chance I’ll get it wrong?

Water Leaks And Texas Volcanos

Kenz hopped into the car after school with that look on her face.

The one that said something had happened that she wasn’t sure how to process.

”How was school Kenz?”

”Mom. Is Texas dangerous?”

Mystery solved. She must have told her class mates about her daddy’s trip to Texas and they had convinced her that he was in danger.

“Not more dangerous then Pennsylvania. Why?” I answered.

“Well, (miss kindergarten friend) said that Texas has volcanos. And Tornados.”

By the time we got home I had her mostly convinced that Checkers probably wasn’t going to encounter any of these Texas dangers.

I may not have been so confident, however, had I been aware of the volcano brewing in my mud room.

The laundry was started, the kids were happily eating breakfast and it was only 8:00 AM. I considered this a very successful start to the day especially since it was Saturday and I had stayed of till 2:00AM.

I know… I should ‘adult’ better then that but there’s more books to be read then there’s hours in the day.🤷‍♀️

My musings of my success were suddenly interrupted by a weird noise coming from the mud room. I went to investigate because I knew my washer didn’t normally make that sound.

I got to the door just as large fountain of water started spraying over the whole mud room. Yes, it really was that bad. The ceiling, 4 walls and floor were being drenched.

I knew I needed to turn the water off but I also knew that I can’t reach the knobs without pulling the dryer front, and I can’t pull the dryer front until the vent and electric cord are pulled out.

Well, I tried… but I got no farther then unplugging the dryer and I was drenched. Literally, I was soaked.

I knew there was no point, because even if I got the dryer pulled front, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to see to turn it off because of the insane amount of water shooting into the air.

Not to mention, I was slightly concerned that the entire spigot might have blown off.

I think most people that know me would agree that I’m a pretty calm person, but in this moment with Checkers not at home and 3 kids staring at me and expecting  me to come up with a solution to the gallons of water being sprayed into the mud room, I thought I might have a panic attack.

I process slowly, but this water fountain demanded instant action, not days of brainstorming solutions.

So, I called Checkers.

He’s in Texas. With the Texas volcanos. But maybe he could tell me what to do with the Pennsylvania volcanos.

He sent me to the basement to turn off the main water line.

The volcano stopped instantly.

Oh, that was easy. I should have thought of that. Except I didn’t even know it was an option pre-phone call to Checkers.

It took all my dirty towels plus a few clean ones plus a big thick blanket to get rid of all the water.

The hose blew off the spigot but the actual spigot was still intact, so I turned it off and very cautiously turned the main water line back on.

There was no more water explosions so I’m currently using the garden hose hooked up in the garage to finish my laundry. It’s a bit inconvenient and slow going but at least the laundry’s getting done😎

There’s still occasional drops of water splattering from nooks and crannies that I didn’t even know existed pre-water volcano.

Texas and its volcanos might not strike fear in my heart but currently I can’t say the same about the plumbing behind my washer.🙃



It is a time for family togetherness, for deeper connections and fun times.

But it’s also supposed to be a time to relax, right?

Instead it seems to wear a person out.

Traveling and a disrupted scheduled is exhausting to an adult, so it’s really no wonder that kiddos end up tired and grumpy.

And that is why I was tucking a whiny Kyna into bed at 1:00 in the afternoon.

“But why do I have to take a nap?!” He asked, not at all impressed with my plans. He had, after all, not been taking naps anymore for awhile now.

”Because, you didn’t sleep much last night and you’re grumpy and tired, but if you take a nap you’ll feel awesome and you’ll have so much energy to play at the park later.”

2 hours later a beaming Kyna hopped from the bedroom with both hands held high, proudly displaying all 10 fingers…

”Mom! I had a good nap, now I have this many energies to play at the park!”


From Fear To Faith

Kynaston was the baby that I couldn’t leave with anyone.

At only 6 months old I left him with Mom and he cried the whole time, it was so bad that I actually went and got him earlier then I had planned.

At first I thought it was just a ‘personality thing,’ but then I read this comment somewhere…

‘Shy is the cover-up word for fear.’

This comment stuck with me because if you really think about it… there is no such thing as a confident and shy person.

However there are quiet, introverted people who are confident, so to me, this simply made so much sense.

Shy = fear and fear is not from God.

That one comment caused me to look at this whole situation with Kyna differently and it wasn’t hard to see that there was some very real fear in his life.

Around the age of 2 he would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and when I got him he would wrap his arms tightly around my neck, very obviously terrified.

We couldn’t leave him in kids ministry at church because he would cry hysterically and I was pretty sure that he was actually freaking out and not just being stubborn.

Over this time our church was doing a sermon series on deliverance from evil spirits, so I was learning a lot on this fear thing but wasn’t sure how to apply it to my 2 year old.

One day I walked into the mud room and then into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. A couple seconds later Kyna was screaming obviously terrified, so I went to investigate. He had followed me into the mud room and thought I went into the garage so he followed me there, except I wasn’t there so he panicked because he could push the door open into the garage but couldn’t pull it open again to get back into the house.

At this point I had ‘had it’ with all these panic attacks as soon as he couldn’t find me, or got stuck somewhere etc…

So I scooped him into my arms and I commanded the spirit of fear to get out right now in Jesus’ name! You have no right here because the Lord has not given Kyna a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind! 

I got chills from head to toe as I literally felt that spirit manifest and then leave.

Guys, we were instantly dealing with a completely different child.

He still had some fear but it was the kind you could work with, I would say, actually, that all fear was gone immediately but we still had to reverse the habits and mindsets that had been cultivated by fear.

I noticed right away that in crowds he willingly left my side and engaged with other kids openly and fearlessly.

Kids ministry at church was still a challenge but even there we saw a big change. Instead of screaming so much that we couldnt even talk to him before we even got to his classroom, we could now work with him.

It was quite the process but if we allow him too, God’s will take what the devil meant for evil and turn it into something good.

Every Sunday, Checkers took Kenzie and Myles to class and I took Kyna. I would walk halfway back the hallway with him and then I prayed with him and declared 2 Timothy 1:7 over him… ‘God has not given Kyna a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind!’

The first week he stood right inside the door while I waited outside for a minute then I ended up taking him back with me.

Each week we made a little bit of progress…

He actually went and played for the couple minutes that I stood by the door but he still went back with me.

Then he actually stayed but went back with me when I came back to check on him after 5 minutes. (A promise I had made.)

Eventually he made it about halfway through before we got the text that he was crying.

Then came the day that we picked up a beaming Kyna after church. He had made it the whole way through and he proudly announced that now he could have chocolate milk and a cookie from Starbucks. That was the reward he had been promised once he stays the whole time.

The bigger the obstacles, the sweeter the victory, even when you’re three. He was so proud of himself. 🙂

Now in the aftermath of all this, is where I can clearly see God’s hand in it…

I have a three year old who is incredibly free. He talks to anyone, he loves social events and makes new friends every time we go somewhere. I’m checking to make sure he’s still around instead of him hanging on to me the whole time. Honestly, there is very little to no fear in his life anymore. (Except for Mike (the janitor) at market, Kyna’s scared of him because Mike is almost 7 feet tall and he has told Kyna already not to do ‘this or that’ and now Kyna avoids him at all costs.) 😅

Through this I have also seen God place in Kyna a value for prayer, I didn’t even realize the seeds I was planting in his life by helping him pray through his fears. When something goes wrong it is not unusual for Kyna to say…

“Mom you should pray with me!”


Girls versus Boys

Once upon a time we had a little girl named Kenzie.

When she was about 4 years old we had a massive cardboard box that we set upside down and cut out some windows and a door that legitimately opened and closed, she painted and colored the out side and just like that we had fun little indoor playhouse for a couple weeks.

She played with that thing for hours. A blanket on the floor made a cozy carpet. Her doll and all it’s accessories fit nicely inside and they had all kinds of calm, sensible fun.

That house got a bit beaten and battered but it stayed up right and in one piece until we got tired of it and smashed it for the garbage guy.

Once again we ended up with a big box. It’s a bit smaller then the last one but still holds two little boys quite easily.

Thinking back to those hours of quietness while Kenzie played contentedly in the box house gave me this grand idea…

I would use this box to entertain my boys! (Kenzie is in school) My mind was filled with serene images of two little boys playing contentedly in this box while I sit on the chair with a good book, a cozy blanket and some coffee. ( Don’t judge please, it is snowing after all.) 😝 Not to mention the fact that we ended up in some bushes BESIDE the road this morning on the way to school. (That’s a whole other blog.)🙃

Can’t you just envision how amazing my morning will be? I will most definitely feel refreshed after this!

So, I brought the box in from the garage, laid it on its side and showed my two very enthusiastic little guys how they could sit in there with their toys and how the flaps made amazing doors that could be opened and closed.

They were thrilled alright.

For a grand total of 5 minutes.

Then they decided that this box was better suited for climbing on.

Which led to a semi-flattened box…


So they spent some time sliding.

Next it became a ramp for tractors and cars.

Then they discovered that if they run across the room and jump on this box, it will slide a couple of inches giving them a short but (I’m assuming) sweet little ride.🤦‍♀️

Next they decided to count the blue circles on the box. There is twenty ’twone’ Kyna declared.

Another amazing discovery was the fact that with quite a bit of tugging and pulling and huffing and puffing it was possible to tear the box apart!

Currently (after only about 20 minutes) the box is laying on its side quite beaten and battered while the boys are playing train on the kitchen chairs.

What can I say? 🤷‍♀️ They sure were entertained for a short while but it definitely wasn’t quiet!🤓

As for my reading… I still didn’t pick up a book since I was too busy watching the boys and wondering what that box would be capable of doing next.

And then I had to blog about it.😎 The coffee was great tho.

P.S. Don’t worry I wouldn’t trade my noisy boys for the world! 🙂 (or for quiet little girls.)

But we sure do appreciate our Kenzie whose play is a bit quieter and calmer. 🙂

Would I Recognize Jesus

This is a question I’ve been pondering for the last couple years.

When Jesus was born, many of the Jews (his chosen people) didn’t even realize who he was. While others, like King Herod, recognized his power immediently to the point where they wanted to kill him before he fulfills the prophecies that were spoken about him before his birth.

The Jewish people believed that a Messiah was coming to deliver them, they believed that this was going to happen and yet when Jesus was born many doubted that this was really God’s answer to their prayers.

In my own life, I have learned that God rarely operates inside the box like we expect him to, instead he seems to find great joy in moving in ways that we never expected him too.

I know from experience that he does answer prayers but it rarely looks anything like I expected it too…

And that is why I ask… If Jesus came to earth today, would I recognize him?

Guys, Jesus doesn’t seem to care about our man made rules, in fact he tends to break the rules! 

You see it repeatedly in the Gospels, Jesus did things that left the Pharisees frustrated. These were the people who knew the law and kept the law. Yet when the Saviour came to set them free from the law they couldn’t receive the gift he was offering because he was going against their belief system.

If Jesus came today would we allow him to change our minds and hearts or would we not even recognize him for who he is because he does things differently then we think they should be done?

Do we recognize when he answers our prayers?

I have prayed many prayers that I thought I knew how God would answer, it was so simple in my mind…

“God, I need more patience!” I prayed and I expected to supernaturally become a more patient person.


Instead God gave me many opportunities to practice patience, he taught me how to rely more fully on him when I couldn’t do it all on my own strength.

You see, God isn’t interested in making us instantly perfect on the outside, he wants to transform us from the inside out.

He wants to get to the root of that impatience and cut it all off for once and for all!

Our prayers are rarely lofty enough. God wants to give us more then we ask for.

Our goal is being a patient person, his goal is complete heart transformation!

Our goal is to sell a little more soup, his goal is for us to sell a whole new line of food!

Let me explain. 🙂

Through the summer we sell a lot of cold salads, in the winter we sell more soups, so we were trying to figure out what we could do to push our soups more.

We came up with a few ideas and we prayed about it and we both felt like God said…

How are you going to make more money off these soups if you only keep making the same amount of soup each week?

Good point! We need to make more soup before we can make more sales!😊

This is kind of a big deal, however, because if we make extra food but don’t sell it, it eats our profit big time.

So, we decided to take ‘a leap of faith’ and the next week we made double batches of 3 of our soups. Just so you know…  that is not a small amount.

God answered our prayers, but it looked nothing like we thought it would.

We didn’t sell the extra soups.

And yet we did.

The day before we even made these extra soups we found out that the stand we had pursued earlier was now available at the price we had said we would be willing to pay.

Long story short…

By the end of the week we were the owners of this other stand so we put all our extra soup in the freezer to sell as hot soups at the new stand the next week.

If you don’t think about it too much it looks like God let us sit, we didn’t actually sell those extra soups so he didn’t really answer our prayers right? Especially when you consider the fact that our goal was to make more money but we ended up spending money on the new stand instead.

However, if you look at it from a different perspective, you will see that God actually answered our prayers above and beyond what we even asked for!

Our goal was to sell a little bit more soup, God’s  goal was to give us a whole new line of food to sell. With this new stand we will be selling more soup plus many other new things which equals a profit increase greater then we had even dreamed of.

And that is why I’m asking myself, if Jesus came today, would I recognize him even if he doesn’t operate the way I expect?

When he answers my prayers in the most unexpected ways do I recognize it or do I feel frustrated that he doesn’t answer the way I wanted him to?

Do I actually believe that he wants more for me then I can even imagine or think to ask for?

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more then all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20


Dreams and Why They Matter.

I was 20 years old and living more for myself the I was for Jesus, but I had a dream that left me with a slightly eerie feeling. Because even tho, at that point, I had zero knowledge on charismatic Christianity, I KNEW that this dream meant something.

My brother had just turned sixteen, and was the proud new owner of a fairly expensive Tahoo. In my dream, I saw this vehicle slide off the road, the details are a bit blurry but the part I remember clearly was Mike standing in front of his truck eyeing the fairly significant amount of damage with a mixture of shock and disappointment.

This dream scared me, and I spent the next couple days pleading with God to not let him die in a car wreck. I did keep coming back to the fact tho that in the dream, Mike was very much alive after the wreck.

Guys… he wrecked his truck. And the details of that wreck and the details in my dream were close enough the same that it put the fear of the Lord in me. Not to mention the awe I felt at how incredible and magnificent God is!

I could tell you countless dreams that I have had over the last decade that have to some degree come to pass.

Like the time I dreamed that I had 5 kids under the age of 5 and I felt stressed out, frustrated and out of control. I laughed that dream off because my first two kiddos were already almost 3 years apart so it wasn’t even possible.

Well, God reminded me of this dream when we had 3 foster kids and 2 kids of our own… all under the age of 5!

When I was praying for a mentor, I had a dream of me emailing some unknown person and they would email back with all kinds of amazing wisdom. This dream didn’t come true for months but guys it happened! She is an amazing no-nonsense kind of woman who serves God with the kind of passion that I want, and she pours into many younger people. I talk to her in person but the main line of communication that I have with her is through email.

Dreams was one of those things that I wasn’t that interested in but once it became a reoccurring thing in my life, I decided to get educated on it. For me that means spending an insane amount of time googling it, then once I’m convinced it’s a thing I buy books, read blogs, watch video series and pretty much get all the information I can on this latest subject of interest.

Oh, and then I blog about it. 🙂

Well, my research has me convinced that most (all?) dreams mean something.

It’s biblical guys, if you don’t believe me just read all the scriptures that tell us about God talking to people through dreams.

God sent an angel to Joseph in a dream to warn him to flee to Egypt with Mary and baby Jesus.

God spoke to Joseph in a dream (the sheaves bowed down to him)

There is many, many more illustrations in the Bible of how God used  dreams to speak to people.

The dreams I shared above were dreams that happened quite literally, but most dreams are in more of a parable form. (again this is biblical, Jesus rarely taught people outright, most times he spoke to them in parables, which leaves us scratching our heads in confusion unless…

Unless we are interested.

Then we can pray into it and we will find that there actually is an easily understood interpretation.

That’s how it is with dreams. You’ve got to interpret them.

There’s 3 questions to ask yourself that are the keys to unlocking your dreams.

1. What is currently going on in your life?

2. What was the main action of the dream?

3. What emotion was I feeling?

Here’s an example of a dream I had recently.

Someone stole Checkers lunch and thermos, and I was angry! But there was nothing I could do about it because this person proclaimed that she had rights to these things, not to mention, everyone else was backing this person up!

‘Get over it Grace,’ they said and fired all kinds of accusations my way about how this was actually my fault.

I. Was. Livid. 

At the end of the dream, however, things somehow turned around and I was told to go this person’s house and get the lunch and thermos back, when I got there, they very unwillingly gave back my things, and to my surprise both were filled to the brim with food, even though it was empty when they took it.

Well, so that sounds like a crazy, weird dream, right? But once I asked God for the interpretation, and asked myself the 3 questions, it was actually and exciting dream!

It’s a long story but what’s happening in my life right now? Well, I do feel like something is being taken from me.  How do I feel about this? I feel angry! But this dream holds a promise that gives me peace in the moment, even tho I don’t know what the out come will be. Because in my dream it ended well, in my dream, I ended up getting more back then I had lost!

And that my friends is why I’m so excited about hearing what God is telling us through our dreams!


Green Sticky Notes For Lunch

I was doing bookwork.

That’s what we do Monday mornings, bookwork and ordering, it’s as standard as breakfast.

I had a green sticky note with some totals on it that I wanted to transfer to a more official location, but until I had time to do that, the sticky note sufficed.

It was laying on the counter, patiently waiting it’s turn of recognition, when I moved a book and the breeze created by this movement sent my green sticky note fluttering to the floor.

I eyed it from my perch, wishing it back but it refused to budge, oh well, I would get it when I was ready for it.

In the meantime, however, a curious little guy named Myles noticed a bright lime green spot on the floor and came to investigate. I watched him a bit, he wiggled his fingers as it stuck to them for a second then fluttered to the ground. He tried to pick it up but his baby fingers weren’t having much luck.

I went back to my papers and forgot about my baby and the sticky note.

About 10 minutes later I got up to put Myles down for his nap but first I was going to pick up that sticky note.

Except it was no where around.

“Huh, he musta ate it.” I muttered to myself as I searched a bit. Oh well, it would turn up.

I found Myles in the toy room and as I scooped him up I noticed shreds of lime green paper on his shirt.

He really did start eating that paper! I thought as I headed back to the nursery to change his diaper.

As I laid him down, he started throwing a fit, diaper changes are basically a crime in his opinion. His crying, however, gave me a perfect view of the inside of his mouth… the inside of his green sticky note covered mouth!

I started digging and pulled out many fairly big clumps of paper. By the time I was done I had a fairly big pile of wet, smushed paper and I was pretty sure I had found all of my sticky note.

The whole thing… in his mouth… and he hadn’t even so much as gagged.

I did not try to put it back together. The numbers on there weren’t that important. 🙂

The Big Red Button

We attended a conference on ‘Relationships’ last spring. It was 3 days long and each day held a theme. Day 1 was business relationships, day 3 was on any and all relationships and day 2…

Day 2 was exciting… It was on parenting. 🙂

And parenting is something that I get pretty fired up about, because how you parent matters more then anything you’ve ever done, and it matters more then most people seem to be aware of!

Guys… We have got to get it right! We cannot leave it up for chance, just hoping our kiddos turn out all right! This is real people with real feelings and real souls that we are in charge of!

I actually often have to tone down what I say when the subject comes up, because I’m so passionate about it that I might end up scaring people or even making them feel like they aren’t doing a good job and that is not my goal at all, since I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t be helpful to anyone.

But still…

In so many ways you hold your child’s future in your hands, it is their life but you are shaping that life.

You are the voice in their head, your words have the power to make them or break them.

There’s 2 things that I have a really hard time keeping my mouth shut about when I see it. (and sometimes I wonder if it’s ok to stay silent.)

  1. Control. You are literally abusing your right as the authority figure in your child’s life if you control them. The goal is to have a relationship with our kids and through that we can guide and teach them.
  2. Words. The words you speak over, to and about your children carry a spiritual weight that can and will effect their life, if you speak degrading or abusive words to or about your child you are literally opening doors for demons to enter into your child’s life to torment and confuse them until these kiddos grow up and figure out that these demons can be cast out. (Which by the way, is a revelation that most people never have.)

Yes, it really, literally is that big of a deal.

Don’t make your children grow up to clean up the mess that you made out of their lives.

What’s all that got to do with a big red button?

It doesn’t really have anything to do with it actually, I just got a bit off track.

So back to the right track… 🙂

At this conference we learned about the big red button.

Every parent has one, and every child knows it. 🙂

So, you know in those moments, when you just kind of ignore your child’s minor misdeed or whining because sometimes, it’s easier to just let the small things slide. (Am I the only one with this parenting flaw?) :-/

This is when Kyna deems it appropriate to use the big red button. 

When he wants something and I ignore him, hoping that he’ll just forget about it, it does not sit well with him and he figured out that if he stands right beside me and screams really loudly, it will most definitely get my attention.

Even though my response to this is 100% of the time not a pretty sight, he still does it, because to him, even a negative response is better then being ignored when he needs a little bit of love.

One evening we were outside cleaning the work truck and Kyna wanted something,

Checkers’ answer was, “When we go inside.”

Kyna kept whining and Checkers ignored him. “You might want to talk it out with him.” I said, “Because he doesn’t like being ignored.” I then proceeded to tell him how Kyna reacts when I try the ignoring tactic.

Just then we realized that Kyna stopped whining and was on the other side of the work truck very intentionally running his dirty hands over the clean truck.

I was amazed. He’s only two but he already figured out that I have zero tolerance for being yelled at so that’s a sure way to get my attention and he also figured out that Checkers’ has a higher tolerance for noise so that probably won’t work on him but messing up Daddy’s clean truck will most definitely get his attention.

How do they know these things?

And if they know that much what else are they seeing in our lives that might not be good?

One Wild Imagination

She loves pretending to be someone else.

Which is fine.

And she loves to pretend I’m someone else.

Which is not always so fine.

Like the day I was informed that: “Mom, you’re Maumy, I’m Rhoda and this (a random stuffed animal) is Carson.

“Ok.” I agreed absentmindedly.

“So, Maumy, I’m going to market, can you watch Carson for me?

“Sure!” I agreed even though deep down inside I was really wishing I could just be myself! 🙂

I have been just about every person I know, so if you’re in our life, just know that at least one of us here has probably carried your name for at least 5 minutes. 🙂

That’s not creepy at all, is it? 🙂

Sometimes it’s kinda fun, sometimes it’s tolerable , sometimes it’s stressful and other times it’s downright frustrating!

“Mom! You’re going to be David and I’m going to talk to you.”

“K.” I agreed. I was knee deep in paperwork.

“So David, We are going to make s’mores, do you want one?”


“Ok, do you want chocolate milk or tea with it?”


“No David! Do you want chocolate milk or tea with it?”

“Sure.” I’m trying desperately to make my numbers match.

“MOM!” Do you want chocolate milk or tea with it?!” 

“What?! Oh. Tea” What?! S’mores and tea?! That will most definitely not be happening. Not even in the pretend world. “Chocolate milk. I want chocolate milk Kenz.”

“K. David Do you know how to start the campfire?”

“What?” I’m trying to organize all the bills.

“Do you know how to start the campfire?”



“You’re David and you need to talk when I talk to you!”

“Kenz, this really isn’t working. I need to think and I can’t think if I have to talk.”

“Ok, well you can still be David and I’m gonna talk to you but you don’t have to talk to me.”

“Ok.” I agreed. The only part I heard was where she said I wouldn’t have to talk.

“Hey David?”

I almost answered then remembered that I didn’t have to talk.

“Hey David? We need to get this campfire started. Could you help us out?” She’s standing 2 feet away from me, looking right at me and talking. I was suddenly not sure if this was any better then when I had to talk! The harder I tried to ignore her, the more I heard every word and the harder it was to concentrate!

And now I had a really big dilemma because I could no longer tell her I wasn’t going to participate in this game because… Well, because I already wasn’t required to do anything other then exist!

Thankfully, talking to a mute David wasn’t much fun and she moved on to more exciting thing rather quickly. 🙂