Popcorn: The Source of Our Biggest Dispute In 2020

It was just a normal Sunday afternoon.

Calm. Cool. Collected.

Just, you know, lounging on our easy chairs while the kids got some video time in.

It was all going so well.

Until

The kids video time ended and they wanted a snack. So I made them some popcorn.

Don’t worry, everyone is still getting along at this point.

Then I sat down again.

Checkers: “Where’s mine?“

Me: “I didn’t know you wanted some. But the popcorn’s in there.” (I pointed to the cupboard.) “And the microwave is right there. (I pointed to the microwave.)

So, Checkers got up and made himself a bag of popcorn, then he sat down again, right beside me, with this whole bag of warm, buttery, delicious smelling popcorn.

I innocently reached over and got a handful.

The glare I received was quite devastating to my fragile emotions.

But as Grace does when she thinks someone is being rather ignorant… she reached over, not so innocently, and got an even bigger handful.

Ah, the feeling of satisfaction. There’s something so rewarding about refusing to back down if someone is being unreasonable. I MEAN HE HAD A WHOLE BAG!

BY HIMSELF!

All I wanted was a couple bites. (Although I will admit, my appetite increased dramatically once I realized I wasn’t supposed to be eating any.)

Yup. Glare two was more devastating the glare one. Which is pretty much the only reason I went for the third handful.

Guys, he had a whole bag! By himself!🧐

Checkers: What are you doing?!😡

Me: Eating popcorn.😁

Checkers: I made it for myself, go make your own.😡

Me: You have a whole bag, surely you can spare a few bites. Why exactly is that a big deal? 🤨

Checkers: Because I made a whole bag and I was going to eat the whole bag. Why don’t you make your own?

Me: 🤷‍♀️ Maybe because I don’t want a whole bag… besides this is a lot more fun.

More glaring was sent my way.

Me: snickers a little but am wise enough to keep my hands to myself. (I do after all value my fingers and getting them back in one piece was looking rather questionable if they wandered into the popcorn bag again,)

Checkers ate the rest of his popcorn in peace.

(Although, I may or may not have asked if I could have more a couple times, just because, you know, it was kinda fun.)😁

Yup, you guessed it. There was more glaring, while he munched on his whole bag of popcorn.

You’d think this was the end of the story…

Nope.

Turns out we’re both holding a popcorn grudge.

And periodically when the need arises I might remind him that he didn’t share his popcorn, or he might remind me that I deliberately ate his popcorn when he asked me not to.

We finally decided to agree to disagree, but it turns out we can’t even do that.

Because I’m still fully convinced that he had zero grounds to claim a whole bag of popcorn and not allow me even a bite.

Turns out he’s just as convinced that he has a right to eat a whole bag of popcorn by himself. There was after all more in the cupboard if I wanted some.

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Don’t worry. We’re fine. I’m fine. He’s fine. Our marriage is fine.

We just can’t eat popcorn together.😎

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