As told by Myles: age 1 year and 10 months.
This morning I crawled out of bed at 6:15. I made my way noisily down the stairs, sent the door crashing into the wall, jumped off the last step with a shout of glee, then turned around and slammed the door shut so hard that it bounced open again.
Oh, well no big deal, obviously I just need to slam it a little harder!
The second slam, however, is stopped short by mom’s hand and she closes it gently while whispering rather loudly “shhhhhh!!! Gently!!!!!”
You see, she thinks kids should stay in bed till at least 7, so her goal is to not wake anyone else.
Crazy, right?! I mean there is things to do, people to see and messes to make. We waste way to much time on this sleep thing, I’m convinced.
I’m up. Now… on to breakfast. I open the fridge door and start removing things till I find the yogurt. For some reason someone stowed it way in the back.🙄 I’m almost to it tho when mom intervenes again and she’s saying something about playing with toys till everyone else gets up then we’ll all eat together.
Oh well, there is plenty of things to explore around here. I’ll start in the bathroom. I have mastered the skill of crawling up onto the toilet then I can lean/balance against the edge of the sink and turn the water on. At this point anything is game for a good washing, all it takes is a whole lotta soap and a bit of water. Mom doesn’t approve of most of the things I choose to wash but she makes the biggest scene when I wash things with batteries in them. She says those toys shouldn’t get wet.
Toilets are fun too. There’s water in them which is also good for washing things. Oh and they flush. Have you ever taken the time to watch the water do it’s crazy, swishy thing? You should try it sometime. You know, enjoy the small things.
I mostly avoid the toilets tho. Mom makes a big deal out of me playing in the sink but when she catches me in the toilet… well… I usually end up sitting in the stroller for awhile while she over uses words such as yuck! And gross! She says toilet water is dirty.
I guess sink water isn’t dirty?
She couldn’t find her phone one day and guess what she did when Kyna told her that I had it? She checked all the toilets.
Even I know that phones are meant for videos and not to wash in toilets. And in case you’re wondering: I accidentally left her phone in the basement.
I’m famished and in serious need of food by the time mom finally says, “Hey guys come eat!” There’s a plate waiting for me at the table so I waste no time in getting there, halfway there tho I remember that I need a spoon (cuz mom always forgets) so I make a quick detour to the spoon drawer, then finally I’m settled into my booster and ready to dig into my…
EGGS!!😫 my extreme hunger is suddenly gone.
I shove my plate across the table at an incredible rate of speed because we all know that yogurt is the only acceptable breakfast food.
Mom gets my plate sets it in front of me and says No! I get it, shoving plates is even less tolerable the not getting yogurt for breakfast. I pout for 5 min then realize that if I’m eating eggs I’ll need a fork not a spoon so I climb down and switch out my utensils. I eat my eggs in record time then take my plate to mom and ask for more.
You know what she does? She sets a plate of yogurt on the table.
And I thought yogurt was off the menu this morning. Oh well I guess I have to retrieve that spoon I put back.
After we got back from dropping Kenz off at school, Kyna and I stayed in the garage to play. I crawled onto the roof of the SUV. Why? You might ask. Because the windshield makes an incredible sliding board!
My fun is cut short tho, when Kyna hollers, “ Mom! Myles is on the car!”
Seriously?! There is so many things wrong with this picture. It seems Kyna has some kind of ‘keep Myles off the car pact’ with mom, which is weird since he’s the one who taught me to do it!🤨
I manage to quickly slide down the hood onto the floor and look mostly innocent by the time mom appears. Seems she isn’t fooled easily though because she says: Myles. Stay down or house. Translation: if I get on the car again I will be banned to the house and all garage fun will come to an abrupt halt.
Got it. Car sliding = more trouble then worth.
Kyna and I eventually head inside to find better things to do. I picked up a match box car and hurled it threw the air. Because, you know, balls aren’t the only things that are throwable. Problem is, the car hit mom. She looked a bit irritated and buckled me into my stroller. She does that when I do things I shouldn’t. Sure I can’t throw things while I’m sitting in here but she doesn’t seem to know that as soon as I’m out I can do it again.
I’m out! Can anyone say FREEDOM!!
Now to prove my point… I pick up the closest toy and threw it. Yup, I hit mom again. Yup, I’m back in the stroller.
It’s about an hour later and I’m sitting in the stroller again for the 5th time… or is it the 6th? Honestly, I’m losing track, all I know is I’m getting awfully tired of sitting in here and I starting to rethink the whole throwing things idea. I’m starting to think it’s not worth it.
I’m out! And I will not be throwing things. Nope, not worth it. I’ll gonna explore the bathroom instead.
My plans are cut short, however, when mom sees where I’m headed and says: “Myles, stroller?”
Seriously?! I let my shoulders sag, stomp my foot and sigh audibly as I change directions and head for the play room.
Like I said: Sitting in that stroller gets old pretty fast. Who invented those things anyway?
And then it’s nap time.
Worst. Part. Of. The. Day.
Mom put me in my crib and went downstairs.
Does she really think I’m going to stay in here? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I head to the bathroom, crawl up on the toilet then shove the basket of washcloths on the floor. I get back down and put all those wash clothes in the toilet. Next I open the drawer and explore it’s contents. There’s a couple things in there that should be in the toilet, so I take care of that.
I hear the door at the bottom of the steps open so I race to my crib, giggling the whole way. I quickly crawl up the side and dive head first onto the mattress. By the time mom gets there, I’m snuggled up on my pillow with a big grin.
Yea, I’m pretty sure she has no idea I ever left my crib.🤫
Now if I can look innocent enough she’ll leave again, then I can go explore that second drawer.
Unfortunately she tucks me in again and lays on the bed.
🤔 maybe she wasn’t fooled after all cuz she only does that when she sees a need to make sure I stay in bed.
Oh, well guess I might as well sleep then cuz trust me there’s no breaking out of cribs when she’s around.
Yup, just tried it and she mentioned that dreadful stroller. I’ll take the crib any day so sleep it is!
Good Night guys!
P.S. If you want to try car sliding or toilet splashing stop by anytime, I would be honored to teach you how!