This is the question that has been bouncing around in my head for almost a year.
I have spent my entire life living cautiously.
You know… A ‘look before you leap.’ ‘Do the math and make sure the numbers line up’ kind of life.
For the last year I have felt like God is saying: ‘Just let it all go.’
But let what go?!
Maybe God does this to everyone or maybe I’m just really slow, but he does this thing where he answers every single question I ask with the same Phrase.
Maybe he knows that I like to think, so he gives me one phrase to ponder for, yes quite literally, it’s been a year.
Either way, it’s kind of infuriating at times, especially when I have no idea what he wants me to let go of,
I Am an all or nothing kind of person, I either do it or I don’t, I’m in or I’m out. If it’s not worth doing completely then there’s no need to do it at all.
Maybe God wants me to be more mediocre?
It’s been ingrained in my head that above all else, one must look good, no matter what the situation actually is, you make it look good and you’ll be alright.
Maybe God is saying I try too hard to look good?
Where I come from the opinion of man is held in high regard.
Maybe I care to much about others’ opinions?
Yet, none of these or any of the others I came up with felt like ‘the thing’ that God was trying to point out.
And then someone used the phrase: “I’m just trying to do the right thing.”
And I knew, right then and there, in that very moment that this is what God wants me to let go of.
I try so very hard to get it right.
Everything I do or ever did was well calculated. I rarely act on impulse.
I still make plenty of mistakes but at least they are well thought through mistakes.🙃
I can spend an insane amount of time weighing the pros and cons on something, in fact I think so long and hard sometimes that I talk myself out of doing it, because just maybe there is some life altering con in there that I haven’t thought of yet.
And that, my friends, is the problem.
You see, caution is good, but overthinking can be lethal to the things God wants you to do.
When God tells you to go tell some random guy at a conference that God loves him, you should probably just do it and not over think it. Because when you start thinking instead of doing, you’ll realize that said guy looks really grumpy and intimidating and would probably prefer you to stay far away from him, so you don’t do it and then spend the next month wishing you would have simply followed that one simple instruction instead of thinking yourself out of it.
True story, guys, don’t be like me.
Sometimes, when God says do it, it doesn’t make sense to me.
Like when I was busy running a business plus trying to be a mama to two kids, I was pretty much going slightly crazy with how busy my schedule was and God said, “I want you to sign up for that.”
‘That’ was no small commitment.
So, for about a month I tried to convince God that it would be a terrible idea, but he persisted.
Finally, I filled out the application.
I had no more then submitted it, when I got my peace back and along with it came a certainty that I would not get the position.
When I asked God why he wanted me to fill out an application for something he didn’t even want me to do, he said it’s called faith. He wants me to trust him enough that I will do whatever he asks even if it looks too big to me, because I don’t know the outcome, but he does. All he wants from me, is for me to trust his lead, to submit to his will.
And that’s the problem with trying to do the right thing. If that is my focus, then I overthink it, instead of simply following his lead.
When I try to get it right, I need to know the end before I can start and from my experience God rarely lets us in on the end results, he just gives us one step at a time.
When I try to do the right thing, it is often my idea of what’s right.
That is why he is asking me (and you?) to let go of the desperate need to do the right thing.
It’s not about doing the right thing it’s about doing what he asks, and sometimes it will make you look like an idiot.
Sometimes it hurts because not everyone will see it the way you do. And every once in awhile it’s rewarding.
My stats aren’t all that great. I seem to get about one hit for every three strikes.
However, he never said that it would be easy but he did promise never to leave us or forsake us.
So, when he speaks will I act or will I think myself out of it?
Am I really willing to let go of my need to get it right and simply follow him?
Especially if that means there’s a chance I’ll get it wrong?