Kynaston was the baby that I couldn’t leave with anyone.
At only 6 months old I left him with Mom and he cried the whole time, it was so bad that I actually went and got him earlier then I had planned.
At first I thought it was just a ‘personality thing,’ but then I read this comment somewhere…
‘Shy is the cover-up word for fear.’
This comment stuck with me because if you really think about it… there is no such thing as a confident and shy person.
However there are quiet, introverted people who are confident, so to me, this simply made so much sense.
Shy = fear and fear is not from God.
That one comment caused me to look at this whole situation with Kyna differently and it wasn’t hard to see that there was some very real fear in his life.
Around the age of 2 he would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and when I got him he would wrap his arms tightly around my neck, very obviously terrified.
We couldn’t leave him in kids ministry at church because he would cry hysterically and I was pretty sure that he was actually freaking out and not just being stubborn.
Over this time our church was doing a sermon series on deliverance from evil spirits, so I was learning a lot on this fear thing but wasn’t sure how to apply it to my 2 year old.
One day I walked into the mud room and then into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. A couple seconds later Kyna was screaming obviously terrified, so I went to investigate. He had followed me into the mud room and thought I went into the garage so he followed me there, except I wasn’t there so he panicked because he could push the door open into the garage but couldn’t pull it open again to get back into the house.
At this point I had ‘had it’ with all these panic attacks as soon as he couldn’t find me, or got stuck somewhere etc…
So I scooped him into my arms and I commanded the spirit of fear to get out right now in Jesus’ name! You have no right here because the Lord has not given Kyna a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind!
I got chills from head to toe as I literally felt that spirit manifest and then leave.
Guys, we were instantly dealing with a completely different child.
He still had some fear but it was the kind you could work with, I would say, actually, that all fear was gone immediately but we still had to reverse the habits and mindsets that had been cultivated by fear.
I noticed right away that in crowds he willingly left my side and engaged with other kids openly and fearlessly.
Kids ministry at church was still a challenge but even there we saw a big change. Instead of screaming so much that we couldnt even talk to him before we even got to his classroom, we could now work with him.
It was quite the process but if we allow him too, God’s will take what the devil meant for evil and turn it into something good.
Every Sunday, Checkers took Kenzie and Myles to class and I took Kyna. I would walk halfway back the hallway with him and then I prayed with him and declared 2 Timothy 1:7 over him… ‘God has not given Kyna a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind!’
The first week he stood right inside the door while I waited outside for a minute then I ended up taking him back with me.
Each week we made a little bit of progress…
He actually went and played for the couple minutes that I stood by the door but he still went back with me.
Then he actually stayed but went back with me when I came back to check on him after 5 minutes. (A promise I had made.)
Eventually he made it about halfway through before we got the text that he was crying.
Then came the day that we picked up a beaming Kyna after church. He had made it the whole way through and he proudly announced that now he could have chocolate milk and a cookie from Starbucks. That was the reward he had been promised once he stays the whole time.
The bigger the obstacles, the sweeter the victory, even when you’re three. He was so proud of himself. 🙂
Now in the aftermath of all this, is where I can clearly see God’s hand in it…
I have a three year old who is incredibly free. He talks to anyone, he loves social events and makes new friends every time we go somewhere. I’m checking to make sure he’s still around instead of him hanging on to me the whole time. Honestly, there is very little to no fear in his life anymore. (Except for Mike (the janitor) at market, Kyna’s scared of him because Mike is almost 7 feet tall and he has told Kyna already not to do ‘this or that’ and now Kyna avoids him at all costs.) 😅
Through this I have also seen God place in Kyna a value for prayer, I didn’t even realize the seeds I was planting in his life by helping him pray through his fears. When something goes wrong it is not unusual for Kyna to say…
“Mom you should pray with me!”