She loves pretending to be someone else.

Which is fine.

And she loves to pretend I’m someone else.

Which is not always so fine.

Like the day I was informed that: “Mom, you’re Maumy, I’m Rhoda and this (a random stuffed animal) is Carson.

“Ok.” I agreed absentmindedly.

“So, Maumy, I’m going to market, can you watch Carson for me?

“Sure!” I agreed even though deep down inside I was really wishing I could just be myself! 🙂

I have been just about every person I know, so if you’re in our life, just know that at least one of us here has probably carried your name for at least 5 minutes. 🙂

That’s not creepy at all, is it? 🙂

Sometimes it’s kinda fun, sometimes it’s tolerable , sometimes it’s stressful and other times it’s downright frustrating!

“Mom! You’re going to be David and I’m going to talk to you.”

“K.” I agreed. I was knee deep in paperwork.

“So David, We are going to make s’mores, do you want one?”

“Sure.”

“Ok, do you want chocolate milk or tea with it?”

“Yea.”

“No David! Do you want chocolate milk or tea with it?”

“Sure.” I’m trying desperately to make my numbers match.

“MOM!” Do you want chocolate milk or tea with it?!” 

“What?! Oh. Tea” What?! S’mores and tea?! That will most definitely not be happening. Not even in the pretend world. “Chocolate milk. I want chocolate milk Kenz.”

“K. David Do you know how to start the campfire?”

“What?” I’m trying to organize all the bills.

“Do you know how to start the campfire?”

“MOM!”

“What?!” 

“You’re David and you need to talk when I talk to you!”

“Kenz, this really isn’t working. I need to think and I can’t think if I have to talk.”

“Ok, well you can still be David and I’m gonna talk to you but you don’t have to talk to me.”

“Ok.” I agreed. The only part I heard was where she said I wouldn’t have to talk.

“Hey David?”

I almost answered then remembered that I didn’t have to talk.

“Hey David? We need to get this campfire started. Could you help us out?” She’s standing 2 feet away from me, looking right at me and talking. I was suddenly not sure if this was any better then when I had to talk! The harder I tried to ignore her, the more I heard every word and the harder it was to concentrate!

And now I had a really big dilemma because I could no longer tell her I wasn’t going to participate in this game because… Well, because I already wasn’t required to do anything other then exist!

Thankfully, talking to a mute David wasn’t much fun and she moved on to more exciting thing rather quickly. 🙂

 

 

I was laying on his bed beside him trying to coax him into taking a nap, because he So. Very. Desperately needed to sleep.

Kyna, however did not think this nap to be a necessity at all. 

He tossed, he turned, he laid quietly for about 5 seconds, his eyelids began to droop and then…

He sat up!

And started talking, he was doing everything in his power to not take a nap.

Did you ever notice how you literally cannot make a child sleep.

He was drifting off again, but he quickly stopped that from happening by bursting into song.

I was getting frustrated so I laid down the law.

“Kyna, you need to take a nap, you may not talk and you may not sit up till you sleep.”

“But Mom! That’s gonna how not it bees!”

“What?” I was so very confused.

“That’s gonna how not it bees.” He whined again.

I still had no clue what he was trying to say so I just agreed. “Ok.”

He looked at me in surprise. “May I get up?”

“No Kyna! Not till you take a nap!”

“No Mom, that’s gonna how not it bees.”

Now we are back to that?!

“Kyna, I don’t know what you are saying, but you need to be quiet and sleep now.”

“But Mom, that’s gonna how not it bees!”

Suddenly my brain started working and I figured out what he was trying to say.

But Mom, that’s not how it’s gonna be! 🙂 

Sorry buddy but yes, that’s how it’s gonna be.

 

 

It was the middle of the night, and I was sleeping quite well.

And probably dreaming of something sweet and blissful, I really have no idea because the only thing I remember is my two year old suddenly hollering wildly and loudly right beside my bed!

“Kyna! What is wrong?!” My heart was pounding and I’m pretty sure my hair was probably standing on end from the fright he gave me.

Did I mention that it was in the middle of the night?!

I actually don’t no which was scarier though, his yelling or the fact that he came all the way up the steps and stood right beside my bed and I had no clue anyone was around! 😦

He calmed down as soon as I spoke to him. “I dumped lou’re (you’re) water.” he sniffed out, still teary eyed.

Why was there water on my nightstand in the first place?

Because it solves two problems all at once.

1. If I get thirsty in the middle of the night (which only happens like every night), I don’t have to run all the way down to the kitchen for a drink.
2. If my kids get thirsty in the middle of the night, I don’t have to run all the way down to the kitchen to get them a drink.

“Oh.” I touched the carpet. “Oh! Yea, you did.”

Yea, you spilled it alright. You spilled the whole thing! The whole quart. The quart that was pretty much completely full. I can tell because the carpet isn’t just a little bit wet! And not to mention you almost gave me a heart attack with your reaction to these events.

Thankfully, I was too tired to voice all my thoughts, besides who cares, it’s what, midnight? Which means by morning it would probably be dry, which means I wouldn’t even need to clean it up. Yes, good plan, we’ll just pretend it never even happened, it’s just water after all.

“It’s alright buddy. Here I’ll help you help.” I reached to pick him up only to encounter…

More wetness.

No wonder he reacted so aggressively. His shirt was drenched! Even I might have made a scene if I was suddenly wearing a full glass of water in the middle of the night. I was considering making a scene anyway since I could no longer ignore this unpleasant situation because I now had to get out of bed and run all the way downstairs, not for a drink but for clean clothes. (And maybe a drink since my glass was quite obviously empty.)

Did I mention that this was in the middle of the night?!

I suddenly had a bright idea, I checked his pants, they were dry! Well, mostly anyway, close enough that we went back to plan A, we removed his shirt, tucked him into bed beside me, forgot about the drenched shirt and carpet and happily drifted off to dreamland. 🙂

And that my friends is parenting at it’s finest, when you can make problems disappear with your mind instead of doing actual work. :-p Especially if it’s in the middle of the night!

Did I mention that it was in the middle of the night?!

Oh and I won’t mention the part where the problem actually did still exist the next morning. 🙂

She has very sensitive taste buds.

Which is the tactful way of saying that she is extremely picky about what foods may enter her mouth.

Even as a baby Kenzie never ‘tasted’ everything she got her hands on. With her I simply never worried about keeping small objects off the floor, because she didn’t put them in her mouth so there was no real concern of her choking on things.

That was the good part.

The bad part?

I had a really hard time getting her to put food in her mouth as well then. To this day she will only drink chocolate milk, grape juice or water and sadly I can’t take credit for that. It was not our good parenting skills that taught her not to like soda or ice tea, it was simply her own pickiness about what enters her mouth.

She does love chocolate and whoopee pies though, but even when it comes to desserts, she has a pretty limited selection, she likes gum but most other non chocolate candy gets rejected.

She doesn’t even eat sandwiches. She loves butter bread though, but if it has jelly or peanut butter on it, then it’s definitely inedible.

There is one thing, however, that is worse then any other food out there.

Veggies. This is the worst of the worst in her opinion.

However, every evening for supper, she has no choice in the matter, she must eat her veggies and I am quite proud to say that lately she eats her food by herself, with minimal coaxing, and it gets done within minutes, instead of hours.

Please, do not ask though how many hours, bribes, consequences and whatever else we could think of it took to get her to this place.

Yea, if you knew the answer to that, you would probably give up on your picky eater before you even start! 🙂 Just know that there is hope. This battle can be won. Eventually.

There is one more problem though (we are working on it but we haven’t quite been successful yet.)

She complains.

She eats it, but not without making sure everyone within hearing range knows how terrible it tastes and how awful it is that she needs to eat it.

“MOM, not this again! I don’t like it! Why do you always make broccoli, you know I don’t like broccoli!”

One morning I set their breakfast on the table, “Guys, your food is ready!”

Kenzie walked toward the table and said with a hint of dread in her voice, “Mom, what is it? Is it eggs again, I don’t want eggs, you always make us eat…”

“Ohhhhhhhhh!”

“It’s oatmeal! I love oatmeal! All is well!” She declared, as she sat down and dug in.

What can I say? As a mom sometimes you gotta claim the victories where you can! 🙂

If you’re wondering just how far we came in this food battle here’s an example of how it used to be, The Breakfast Battle 🙂