Why Adding The Third Child Is Easier

Easier then the first or the second child. At least for us this has been true so far.

I heard it said already the more children you have the easier it gets.

I had a really hard time believing that tho because seriously… Kid’s are a lot of work! They’re awesome and they’re the best thing that ever happened to me but that doesn’t change the fact that they can take all of your time, energy and even your sleep!

I’m pretty sure children are God’s favorite cure for selfishness. 🙂

In other words I never realized how selfish I was untill I had children!

Trust me on this: if you don’t have kids you’re probably more self focused then you realize. 🙂

Ok, moving on to better things now that we got that out of the way.

When we had Kynaston the adjustment was pretty hard on all of us and it felt like quite some time and a bit of a rough journey to find our new normal. So when I thought of trying to find that new normal again after adding the third…

Honestly it scared me a bit senseless!

Maybe even more then a bit. I mean think about it… We as parents would now be out numbered!!

As usual my fears were bigger then reality and…

Here’s what I learned:

I was already outnumbered with the second.

Because for most of our kids’ waking hours Checkers is at work and it’s just me here to take care of the kids. So if they both needed attention at the same time, there was only me, only one person to cover both their needs.

So, yes, by adding the third I’m even more outnumbered but here’s the part I hadn’t considered:

My first child is much more independent.

There is so much Kenzie (almost 5) can do for herself now. When we are headed out the door she can get her own shoes and jacket on (with a little bit of help straightening, tying and zippering.) 🙂 When Kyna was a baby she still needed help going to the bathroom or getting a drink and for some reason it seemed the minute I sat down to feed Kyna she had to use the bathroom or needed a drink. (trust me, that is stressful!)

Now she can do all that for herself and she can help Kyna with small things like getting a drink or reaching things that he can’t.

I have a little helper.

She is also very helpful in caring for the baby. If I’m taking care of Kyna and the baby cries she can actually keep him calm for a couple minutes untill I’m ready to get him. (or seconds if he’s hungry!) 🙂

If I’m taking care of the baby she can do all kinds of small things to help Kyna when he needs help, so feeding the baby is not stressful at all!

She can help out with things like getting a blanket for the baby, getting me a drink while I’m feeding the baby, and lot’s of other small errands that seem insignificant but actually add up to a lot, which makes a huge difference in helping me not feel overwhelmed.

There’s also lots of household chores she can do, like fold and put away laundry, make her bed and clean up toys. She can even wash the dishes and sweep the floor. And it’s so much fun encouraging her to do these things because I feel like I can literally see her self confidence blooming because I’m ‘trusting’ her to do these ‘grown-up’ jobs.

They say kids that grow up doing chores are happier and more self confident then kids who don’t and I believe this because for some reason doing chores seems to give a child purpose and a reason to believe in themselves because they realize that they are actually capable of doing these things!

The first child has very little experience with sharing.

And that means with everything. Kenzie didn’t need to share us (her parents) with anyone, she didn’t need to share her toys, her routine or anything really. Life in this house pretty much revolved around her. If she had a need I could take care of it right away most times. If she wanted me or Checkers to hold her or read a story, there was no other little person to interfere with that.

And then we had Kynaston and her life changed drastically. Sometimes she had to wait till I’m done feeding the baby before she could have a drink. Sometimes I couldn’t hold her because I was putting Kynaston to sleep and at two years old she simply didn’t understand why this little person had the right to come in and seemingly just take over her life. I mean life pretty much revolved around him now. If he cried, I responded, even if that meant the game I was playing with her or the book I was reading to her was put on hold.

Kynaston on the other hand… he knew all about sharing (and fighting) 🙂 at a much younger age then Kenzie did. Because he never knew a time when Mom and Daddy were all his and only his. All he ever knew was sharing us with Kenzie.

So when Myles came along the adjustment wasn’t quite as big for him. He did have one week that was a little rough on him because there was still an adjustment and he too has moments when the baby comes first and he has to wait when he usually wouldn’t have had to but over all I feel the adjustment was easier for him then it had been for Kenzie,

As for Kenzie… She is so in love with our newest little guy that she barely seemed fazed at all by the changes he brought to our home.

I’m no longer an unexperienced first time mom.

Which means I no longer freak out at every little thing! 🙂

Which is nice, it helps me feel much calmer. 🙂

With Kenzie, if her blanket ended up on the floor, I got a clean one.

With Kyna, Kenzie played with his blankets and I used them anyway.

With Myles, sometimes I pick up a doll blanket off the floor to use because said doll is using Myles blanket and we wouldn’t want to ruin the doll or the doll’s mama’s day! 🙂

My point being… I’m much more relaxed with baby number 3 then I was with baby number one.

Yesterday a dog licked my baby’s face and I even managed to keep my cool!

Ok, I’ll admit I barely kept my cool because dogs’ tongues’ are just way too gross to be touching my cute little baby but obviously not everyone shares my opinion so, you know I just ‘calmly’ freaked out on the inside and reminded myself that it is not a life or death situation! 🙂

And that is why I think adding the third is easier then adding the second. 🙂 There is a few other factors that play a part as well tho…

  1. Kenzie is almost 5, if your kiddos are closer in age you might whole heartedly disagree with this blog! 🙂
  2. My first two babies weren’t the best sleepers and this little guy already sleeps for 3 to 5 hrs straight at night, almost every night, so getting a decent amount of sleep helps.
  3. Kynaston has a much more laid back personality then Kenz, so I think that played a part in how well and quickly he adjusted.

Yay for 3 kiddos! Sometimes I look at my family and I can barely believe how blessed I am!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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