Dad is home!
The doctors told him he would spend 2-3 weeks in rehab but Dad said it wont be that long, and here we are, less then a week later and he is home!
They said he set a new record… This is the shortest rehab stay they ever saw after this kind of surgery. 🙂
He’s still doing in-home therapy tho, and he is doing great, even though he is starting to get a little bored. 🙂
Thanks again for the love and prayers ya’ll have poured upon us through all this… God bless you!
Last night around 4:30 Dad was moved to a rehabilitation hospital. They say he will be there for about two or three weeks.
His stay there will include lots of physical therapy and once he accomplishes certain goals he will be able to come home and if you ask him, he will tell you that he is going to accomplish those goals in less then 2 or 3 weeks.
Which would be awesome. 🙂
Today he walked a short distance, which was exciting for all of us even though he is still using a walker. He also accomplished the task of going up 3 steps.
Thanks again to everyone that has been helping out and also to those who are praying. God has been doing amazing things through all this and since the devil hates victory of any kind, we have been praying against spiritual warfare and attacks from the enemy so if you want to join us in that, we would appreciate it! May God bless you!
This post exists…
To update people that have asked for updates…
But also:
Because true stories escalate into rumors.
Because facts get twisted, omitted, added or just simply blown out of control.
My whole family was there when it happened but I think each one of us will give you a slightly different version of what actually happened. Weird things happen to a person’s mental state when you’re thrown in to a traumatic situation.
So I can understand how rumors and messed up facts get passed around.
However.
That still doesn’t excuse the parts that are completely false without even a shred of truth to them.
Just saying!
Dad gets seizures and he is on seizure meds for it.
This is the part where you need to rethink everything you think you know about seizures and educate yourself because there’s different kinds of seizures and the kind Dad gets, I didn’t even know existed before he started having them.
Basically he spaces out and seems to just kinda leave his mind. While he can still move physically, he can’t think coherently. He doesn’t seem to hear us when we talk to him and if he says something, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. He also does crazy things like fight off the EMT’s that are trying to help him.
He always said that his biggest fear is that he would physically hurt his wife or one of his kids while he’s in a seizure.
Last Wednesday Mike & Rhoda (my brother and his wife) had a baby, so on Friday night I packed up all 5 kids and went to my parents house, Checkers met us there, then mom was going to watch our kids while Checkers and I took supper to mike and Rhoda. By the way they have the cutest baby I ever met. Other then mine of course. (and yes, I do feel obligated to say that because I think he might actually be cuter then mine were, but I will never admit that. 🙂  )
While we were still at my parents house, we noticed Dad was acting a little weird, a couple of us asked him questions but got no response. Mom is the one that has walked this journey with him closer then any of us kids so she knew all the signs and informed us that he is having a seizure.
She asked him to lay down, at which point he got up and walked out the door. Merv and Checkers followed him with the intent of stopping him from doing anything crazy. He walked out to the barn, through the shop, up the stairs, through the Rec room, into his office, then out onto the balcony and before Merv or Checkers had time to react he jumped over the balcony railing.
The ambulance was called, people were freaking out, blankets were brought out and I remember putting my hand on his chest and thinking that I know he didn’t die because his heart is still beating and then realizing that he couldn’t be dead because he was still breathing and moving around a bit. (Like I said, a persons brain goes a little crazy in a moment like that. 🙂 )
Like I said earlier, his biggest fear was that he would hurt his family while having a seizure and while none of us (including dad) know for sure, we do think thats why he jumped. We think he was trying desperately to get away from Merv and Checkers because subconsciously he knew he was having a seizure and he didn’t want to hurt them. It didn’t matter how many rooms he walked though in the barn (and he was closing each door behind himself) they still kept coming and when he got to the balcony, in his semi-conscious state he simply took the quickest route down.
Again we don’t know for sure what was going on in his mind and he has no memory of any of it but we think that’s what happened.
After many tests, cat scans and what not they learned that he has a crushed vertebra and would need surgery the next day. Since he was in a post seizure state and not really with it, they couldn’t get him calmed down enough to run the tests so they sedated him and hooked him  up to a ventilator.
Saturday evening he had surgery which lasted a little over four hours. His surgeon had good news for us. His nerves were bruised but not severed so he will make a full recovery.
Right now his lower legs are still somewhat numb but he can move them fairly well. His recovery may be hard and might take awhile but with time and physical therapy he should be back to his normal self for the most part.
His ventilator was removed on Monday evening and he was able to communicate even tho he was a little groggy and maybe a little high (maybe more then a little?) 🙂 from all the pain meds in his system. He kept his family quite entertained from what I hear. Sadly I missed the show. 🙂
By Tuesday he was back in his right mind and dealing with quite a bit of pain.
Now we wait…
The plan is to move him to a rehab hospital sometime in the next couple days, then he’ll be there till he’s able to walk on his own.
That’s just the plan though, the way things have been going with the hospital, we have learned that things tend to change or take longer then anticipated so we will wait and see.
We placed our foster kids in respite for the weekend so we could spend most of our time at the hospital.
We picked them up on Sunday night and had them with us till Tuesday afternoon then they left for respite again and they will be with them for a week. We thought this was probably best for them because if they were with us this week they would be bounced from one babysitter to the next with us running to the hospital every day and with everything going on, we don’t have the time or energy to be at all of their appointments or to deal with the 4 yr old’s tantrums.
Next Tuesday they will be back with us again unless they find a new resource family before then.
Pray for them?
Pray that they would find a new family that will be able to meet their needs. Pray that they would transition well, or just pray whatever u want. 🙂
(Respite is short term or emergency foster care.)
To everyone who reached out to my family over the last week, I just want to say thanks! We appreciate it.
Everything was so very appreciated and it taught me a lot about reaching out to others.
Meals, gifts, babysitters, clean houses and I’m not even sure if that covers it all but it meant a lot to us. Thanks doesn’t seem to cover it but it’s the best I can do so…
Yup.
God’s got this.
It’s so very easy to say.
But…
Do I really believe it?
When life is good and perfect and going well, then yes. I believe it.
But what about when life is not going so well?
Do I still believe it?
He’s four years old and he throws tantrums the size of a mini tornado. His papers warned us that he doesn’t listen very well, but the first couple weeks we saw no such behavior, all we saw was a perfectly well behaved little boy who said, “Ok, mommy” to whatever he was told to do.
However the more comfortable he became here, the more his true self came out, revealing a temper the size Mt. Everest.
He no longer listened well, actually he no longer listened at all.
His temper tantrums escalated to the point where he was tearing down blinds, emptying closets, pushing around furniture (smaller pieces.) Then much to my surprise, he even dismantled a single bed. Somehow he flipped the mattresses off then pulled the bed into the middle of the room.
When I told him he needs to fix it, he told me: “But, I can’t lift it!”
Exactly.
That is why I still can’t figure out how he did it.
At first I tried to find a consequence for destroying rooms.
No luck, his tantrums only escalated.
Then I decided that I need to get to the root of the problem.
What was causing these problems?
I researched and read a mountain of books and blogs on this subject.
I learned a lot.
My final conclusion was that this kid is not getting enough one on one interaction. There’s five small kids around here and he was the oldest so he was the one being asked to do the most on his own, like bath himself, put on his own shoes, jacket etc.
He is capable of doing these things but every small child enjoys this extra attention from the adults in their lives, but with 5 kids to care for he was the one that most frequently heard the words: “I need you to do it yourself.”
We tried, we really did try, but after two weeks of trying to pour extra attention and love into his life we came to the realization that something has to change.
We simply are not meeting his emotional needs and the sad part was we probably won’t ever be able to.
With five small kids here we are stretched thin just keeping up with their physical needs, which left their emotional needs only partially taken care of.
The agency tried to help, they threw out different options. Maybe these options would have helped and maybe they wouldn’t have but the bottom line is this…
I want a family.
Maybe this is the part where I’m simply being selfish.
I don’t know, but I do know that I want a family.
To me family means a place to come home to where it’s full of love and peace.
I don’t expect perfect but I do expect a relaxed atmosphere.
With five small kids, my version of family disappeared.
What we had instead was a system. A system that pushed kids through like a product on an assembly line, and if the conveyor belt got tripped up somehow, it screwed up our whole system and the whole day seemed to go ca-fluey. (I don’t know if thats even a word but Checkers uses it sooooo…… 🙂 )
Usually bath time was spent splashing a bit with the kids, talking with them and over all just soaking them with some extra love.
Now bath time is spent pushing each child through our conveyor belt system because if we don’t move quickly and efficiently we might not get done before midnight!
Meal time is the same, instead of a fun family time talking about our day, we spent this time reminding  kids to sit, wiping up spilled drinks and trying to keep food from flying all over the dining room.
Many times I asked myself, when is it too much?
When do I admit that I am not covering all the needs that need to met and I probably won’t ever get there?
At first I kept thinking once we settle in, it will get easier, but eventually I realized that we are settled in, we have found a routine and I still feel like I’m drowning, and it didn’t help that the agency kept adding more appointments to our schedule.
The bottom line?
Last week I reached my limit.
I realized that I am done. My family needs to be my priority. I can’t do foster care at the expense of my bio kids.
Blogging is also a passion of mine and through this foster care thing, in a way, I lost my right to blog about my life.
One question I kept asking myself was this:
Am I going to let foster care be a part of my life?
Or…
Am I going to allow foster care to consume my life? My identity? My goals? My family? My social life? Am I willing to give up who I am in order to care for these kids?
Am I being selfish? Maybe. I honestly don’t know the answer to that question right now, but I do know that I am not ok with foster care consuming my life. I am ok with it being a part of my life but it can’t push out everything else that matters to me.
So it really wasn’t one big thing that pushed us into calling it quits but more like a million little things.
So I contacted the agency and gave our 30 day notice.
The very next day I was talked out of this decision by a social worker.
And the very next day after that, this 4 year old of mine refused to wear his seatbelt and kept playing with the lock and door handle in my moving vehicle. I had a very real fear that he was going to open the door and bail out, so I contacted the agency again and told them that I really am done because it really is just too much and I was also a little worried about the state of my fraying nerves.
This final decision was made exactly one day before our world caved in a little farther.
(This doesn’t really mean that we are done with foster care as a whole, it just means we are done with this placement and will probably not take more then one child at a time in the future. Right now, however, we aren’t sure what the next step is for us.)
To be continued…
Four years ago this cutie made me a mom and she has taken us on a crazy, adventurous, amazing and awesome journey. She has an outgoing, fun-loving personality. She has adapted quite well to having foster kids in our home, she totally loves them and enjoys having playmates every day. In her mind there is no such thing as too much activity or noise.
As a newborn she cried for hours on end and refused to sleep through the day or at night. As a toddler she talked without taking a break and did everything in her power to slip out of naps. As a four year old she still talks a lot and has endless amounts of energy and she no longer takes naps because on the rare occasion that she does, she can’t fall asleep at night.
She is an awesome big sister. Kynaston was grumpy and I asked her to bring him some toys… This was the end result 🙂 As you can tell, he was quite thrilled! 🙂 (Yes, this pic is at least 6 months old.)  
She was excited about having a birthday and totally enjoyed all the birthday cards she got in the mail. She loved having a cake made in her honor and all the attention that went with it. However two days later she was extremely disappointed when she learned that it’s not her birthday anymore. She was consoled by the fact that she still gets to be four now. 🙂
She was also very excited to join the big kids class at church now. At Threshold this is quite a big transition since the 2-3 year olds are together, then its 4 years through 7th grade or something like that. 🙂 She wasn’t too sure about staying in that class when it actually came down too it but afterwords she was glowing with excitement so I guess it wasn’t too bad! 🙂
She is thrilled to be four and can’t wait till she gets to have a birthday again! 🙂
Me on the other hand…
I keep trying to hold back the years, it seems though, the more I try to hold back time the faster it goes. 
We love you Kenzie and we are so very blessed to have the privilege of being your parents.
Seeking His Perfect Will... 