Five years ago we got married.
Five years ago, I thought couples that were celebrating there 5th anniversary were fairly ancient and had been married for a long time.
Just so you know…
Those five years were short. They went fast and I don’t feel like we’ve been married long at all.
And we definitely aren’t old. 🙂
For us, life together has been an incredible journey. There’s been ups and downs and in-betweens but its been good.
I must say though, that it has looked absolutely nothing like I pictured it.
If you had told me 5 years ago…
That we would do a DTS…
I would probably have told you, you’re crazy. If you had added that we would do that DTS with an 18 month old in tow, I would probably have told you that you’re more then crazy.
Yet that’s exactly what we did and I will always be amazed how God works. He has this way of throwing seemingly random happenings into a persons life that ends up leading us to our next phase in life. The funny part is, we end up doing things we never thought we would, because all along he was preparing us for this step but somehow we never even saw it happen.
If you had told me we would do foster care.
I would probably have told you that I don’t have what it takes for something that big.
Yet here we are.
God is good. I know that our journey has been good because we aim to keep God in the middle of it. More often then not we fail, make our own decisions and forget that God has an opinion on everything, but he is merciful, has shown us grace and the longer we walk with him the easier it gets to remember to include him in every decision.
No longer just my decision.
As we were setting up house there was so many little things to buy. As a saver, spending all this money went down a little hard for me.
One thing we didn’t have was a toaster.
Not really a necessity but something that would be really handy to have occasionally. We were at wal-mart anyway so why not check out the toasters. Checkers starts looking at the style and size of these toasters and all I can see is the price tags.
Seriously who spends 30 or 40 dollars on a toaster!
I mean, all I want is a piece or two of toast and I don’t need a fancy piece of equipment for that, besides we rarely even eat toast.
Oh, and if you have a fancy $60 toaster thats ok, I won’t judge you. 🙂 I am going to assume though that you have more money then you know what to do with. 🙂 Or…
Maybe you don’t since you bought that toaster. 🙂
“How bout this one?” I asked. It was seven dollars something and I’m pretty sure t was the cheapest one they had.
Checkers looked at it a bit.
“I don’t know we might as well get something that’s gonna last.”
I disagreed, “This should last since we don’t eat all that much toast.”
“We want it to last more then a year, and if we get this other one we can make 4 pieces at once instead of just two.”
“I think it’ll last at least two years, and if we make two pieces then two more it’ll only take about two minutes longer then making them all at once.”
We discussed this toaster dilemma a bit more, then left Wal-mart with the $7 option.
Why am I bringing this up now?
Because this morning as I was making a breakfast sandwich for Checkers, and thinking back to 5 years ago when we got married and started a life together, I couldn’t help but smile as I popped two pieces of bread into that $7 toaster. 🙂
And we have made quite a bit of toast in those 5 years.
What have I learned?
I have learned that love is a choice more then a feeling.
Fairy tales and romance novels or movies are unrealistic. ‘Happily ever after’ simply doesn’t exist.
You can have a good life together and you can be madly in love on your 80th wedding anniversary, but you aren’t going to get there just because one day you figured out that you can’t live without the person you love, so you laid aside your differences and ‘lived happily ever after.’
It just doesn’t happen that way.
It’s more of a ‘dying to self’ experience.
Love is a choice and it’s a choice that you need to make every single day.
You must choose love, when your partner has different views then your own, you must choose love, when your partner is selfish or demanding, you must choose love through any circumstance or situation that arrives at your doorstep.
You must choose love.
Because every time you choose anger or resentment you are opening a door for the enemy, and he doesn’t miss opportunities, he will make the most of them.
Communication is also extremely important, when you do feel anger or resentment be real with your partner, share your heart and work it out because by forgiving each other and finding that middle road that bridges your differences, you will close that door against the enemy and it will also draw you even closer to your partner.
Instead of instantly placing blame when I feel hurt or rejected by his actions or words, I’ve learned to evaluate myself. What is my part in this? How am I hurting him? What can I do differently to resolve this instead of thinking only he needs to change?
Honestly? More often then I would like to admit, a lot of the problem comes down to my own selfishness.
I believe this is the most important key to a good marriage.
PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.
There is no such thing as over-praying.
Pray for your partner, pray for your marriage, pray for yourself.
I am convinced that it doesn’t matter how bad we are at the whole marriage thing, if we pray according to God’s will, we will find joy and we will know how to love our partner unconditionally.
Because heartfelt prayer is powerful.
And while it may not always change a your circumstances, it will always change your heart.