If you didn’t read (Part 1) of this series, you might want to do that, or this blog probably won’t make sense. 🙂
Where does your child fit into the D-I-S-C personality profile?
The ‘I’ Child
Here’s some examples of an I child.
I children are the show. They love the spotlight, they thrive off being the center of attention.
If you are D parent who gets things done, you might be crushing your fun loving child’s personality. If you are an I parent, you might find yourself competing with them for the spotlight. If you are an S or C parent, you will probably find yourself feeling exasperated at your child’s lack of sensibility.
I children like to have fun.
Telling an I child to go to bed now, doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun to them. Their response will be to try to lighten things up. They might run and hide, trying to get you to engage in a game of hide and seek. They might ask you to read a story or anything else thay can possibly think up that would be more ‘fun’ then just simply crawling into bed and sleeping.
Seriously. How boring!
I children are usually more submissive then D children but since they love to be spontaneous and make every moment memorable, they will act out if their life is to confined and restricted with rules and a rigid system with no flexibility. Kenzie is an I, every night at bed time when it was time to put on her PJ’s she would run around the bedroom giggling, daring us to catch her and have fun with her before wrestling her wiggling little body in to those pajamas. If we engaged in her ‘fleeing the scene’ shenanigans things went pretty well. If we happened to not be in the mood and demanded that she come right now! It rarely ended well. Feeling unheard and forced into submission she usually ended up throwing a mini fit.
How do you deal with your I child?
Make it fun.
Chasing a giggling toddler around the room every night just to put their PJ’s on gets old pretty fast for a parent, so how do you make it fun?
Establish a routine. A fun routine. Like taking a bath, then reading a story, then going to bed. I kids are spontaneous, scatter brained and ‘go with the flow’ kind of people. They can be all into eating their breakfast then suddenly decide they need their shoes put on right now! Why? They probably had a sudden urge to make things exciting. Since they are scatterbrained and ‘all over the place’ they actually like having a routine to follow, they might fight it a bit, but as long as it has some flexibility, they will enjoy it because it brings stability that their personalities lack.
The ‘S’ Child
S kids avoid the show. They dislike being the center of attention. They need stability and they will go to extreme measures to avoid conflict.
If you are a D parent, this is the child that you will absolutely crush if you don’t take time to listen to them. They aim to please at the expense of self, so they need parents to stop and listen patiently. They will clam up if they feel rushed. If you are an I parent you might be overwhelming your S child with your constant need for a full and crazy lifestyle since they thrive off a more quiet and stable lifestyle. If you are an S or C parent you might find yourself feeling confused about what your S child really wants since their answers are often formed to reflect what they think you want.
S kids aim to please.
The biggest weakness of S people is this: To your face they will agree to everything you say, but they end up not holding up their end of the deal because they never actually agreed, they just said what they thought you wanted to hear because they have a really hard time saying no to people.
If you tell an S child to go to bed now they will probably go to bed without a fuss. This sounds like a well behaved child right? No, this is actually bad. Every child has opinions, feelings and emotions, but since this child hates conflict, they will stuff down those emotions the best they can and do everything in their power to make everyone around them happy.
How do you deal with your S child?
Value them. Value their opinion. Let them know their voice is heard. Form a close relationship with them. The relationship part applies to every personality but with an S child it’s even more important because they will not share their opinion with you unless they trust you. Ask them questions and give them choices, but the most important thing you can do for this child is to listen, really listen to them. Listen to their words but more then that listen to what they aren’t saying, like their body language, their reaction to things. This child is delicate and easily hurt. Ask their opinion on things then take time to listen. Get down on their level, look into their eyes and make sure they know that you asked because you really care and not just because you thought you should. This child will not be rushed, so slow down and wait while they smell the roses, be patient enough to wait for a full, silent minute while they think about how they want to answer the question you just asked them.
To be continued…