Did you know there’s a reason, you act or react the way you do?
There’s a reason you think the way you do, there’s a reason you respond emotionally to things the way you do.
There’s a reason you act or react to every situation the way you do, you might consciously choose to react this way or it might be a subconscious reaction but either way it is there. It might be caused by your natural, God-given personality or it might have been learned from life experiences, good or bad. Why you’re wired this way is probably different for each person, but you can’t get away from it.
There’s a reason you are who you are.
The same is true for your child, and understanding how your kids are wired is essential in understanding their emotions and needs.
Your child’s core personality is made up of 7 parts.
- Their first letter in the DISC Personality Profile
- Their second letter in the DISC personality Profile
- Their love language
- Are they an introvert or extrovert?
- Are they a thinker or feeler?
- Are they intuitive or sensing
- Are they judging or perceiving
Even if you understand all that, you are still barely scratching the surface of who your child is.
Your personality and love language as the parent plays a part in how you interact with your child and will ,therefore, impact their behavior.
I was going to write one blog here, but I think I might break it up into a series because it’s going to get really long if I don’t.
The D-I-S-C Personality Profile.
Your Child will fall into one of these four categories.
The ‘D’ Personality.
‘D’ stands for dominant, daring, demanding… (D’s run the show.) These people are go-getters, they make stuff happen! They thrive off of being in charge. The bigger the challenge the more excited they are to meet it. They take big risks in both their business and personal lives. They are often successful because they don’t quit if they fail. Failure actually motivates them to find a way that works. They often act before they think. When presented with an idea, their question is: “What?” as in “What needs to happen to do this?” Their motto would be: Get it done or get out of my way!
The ‘I’ Personality.
‘I’ stands for Influencing, Innovative, Interesting… (I’s are the show.) These people see life as one big party. They thrive off of ‘fun.’ Their end goal is to have fun wether that’s at work or play. They are often the life of the party. You will know when they arrive, because they will enter with a bang, the whole room will light up when they get there. They have the ability to turn the most boring routine into an exciting, memorable moment. They love people and will be the very ones proclaiming: “The more the merrier!” When presented with an idea their question is: “Who?” as in, “Who will be there?” Their motto would be: If it’s not exciting, I’ll make it exciting!
The ‘S’ Personality.
‘S’ stands for sweet, submissive, stable… (S’s avoid the show.) These people hate conflict. The hardest thing for them to do is say no, because of this they will commit to things they don’t want to do. They dislike change and will do things consistently. They often have set routines that they follow. Spontaneous plans drive them crazy. They don’t like being left to figure something out on their own, they want you to let clear detailed instructions so they can do it correctly and precisely. They don’t like being in charge and they don’t like being the center of attention. When presented with an idea their question is: “How?” as in, “How is this going to work?” Their slogan would be: As long as everyone else is happy, it’s ok.
The ‘C’ Personality.
‘C’ stands for cautious, calculated, calm… (C’s judge the show.) These people take the cautious approach to everything, they think before they act. They are often calm and can think clearly through chaos. They like routine and are organized. They hate being wrong and because of their calculated personalities they are rarely wrong. They like working behind the scenes. They often seem negative. They love details. They pick apart other people’s ideas because they think every idea can be improved. When presented with an idea their question is: “Why?” as in “What’s the reasoning behind that?” Their slogan would be: There’s a better way, find it!
Who is your child?
Which letter describes your child?
Which letter describes you?
Understanding this can make a world of difference in the way you parent, it will make a difference in your ability to connect with your child.
Here’s a some examples on D children.
D children will try to run the show.
If you are a D parent, you will probably find yourself in many power struggles with your D child. If you are and I or S parent you will probably feel like your child does run the show and if you are a C parent you will probably find yourself feeling frustrated with this child who refuses to follow the rules.
D children don’t like being told what to do.
If you tell a D child to go to bed, they probably won’t go to bed. The very words ‘you must’ causes rebellion to rise in their heart and they will do everything in their power not do what you just commanded them to.
Telling a D child they must go to bed right now will never result in that child obediently going to bed right now, it simply won’t work because it goes against the very core of how your child is wired. You will instead find yourself with a defiant child who is very determined not to go to bed. In fact they are probably so set on it that they won’t even listen to what you are saying anymore, they have one thing in mind and that is to not take orders from anyone.
How do you deal with a D child?
Let them feel like they have options and choices and not like they are being ordered around. Don’t tell them to go to bed. Give them options.
If you want them in bed by 8:00, start the conversation at 7:30, for a younger child, tell them its almost bedtime, at 7:45 ask ask them if they are ready to go to bed now or if they would like to play for 5 more minutes. Give them the understanding that the choice is theirs but whichever they choose will then be carried out with no temper fits or whining.
For an older child you can tell them they can choose to go to bed whenever they want but 8:00 is the latest it may be.
Obviously this won’t work perfectly every time but if you child is a D, you will see a huge change in their behavior if they feel like they have choices instead of feeling like they have no control over their own lives because D’s have a ‘need’ to be in control.