Parenting Outside The Box

Do you ever feel like society expects you to raise your children a certain way?

Do you ever feel like that ‘certain way’ is unachievable?

If you’re child isn’t sleeping through the night by 6 months old then you ‘need’ to sleep-train them.

That last sentence has been half of my battle.

They don’t stay little long, enjoy them while you can!

That sentence has been the other half of my battle.

Do you see how they contradict each other?

One is asking me to enjoy my kids and not rush their growing up process, while the other is telling me that my children are missing the mark and I need to teach them to be grown up.

Here’s the thing.

I wake up every morning at 5:00 and most times, both our children are in bed with us.

Yes, Kenzie is 3 and Kynaston is 11 months so there is absolutely no reason they can’t sleep in there own beds all night.

Yes, there is feet where heads should be and there is more people then bed, I have been kicked in the head, I’ve slept on the very edge of the bed, (like seriously on the last 6 inches of the mattress) 😛 I have gotten up in the morning and proclaimed that, “That’s it! These kids are going to learn to sleep in there own beds!!”

However, that very night when a child wakes up at 12 or 2 or 4, all I can think is how much I want to sleep and its so much easier to take them to bed with me then trying to teach them how to sleep when I’m barely awake. (yes, I know, that if I would take ‘only’ a couple nights to train them to sleep on their own, I wouldn’t need to get up with them at all.)

That’s not really the point though, because honestly I’m so good at it by now that most times I don’t even remember getting up to get them in the middle of the night.

That’s not the point either, but this is: I like when my kids are in my bed. No, I don’t like being pushed out of my own bed, but I love when they snuggle up against me, I like waking up in the morning to a sweet, innocent, sleeping little body beside me. I know they’re safe and I know that they feel loved.

What I don’t like is for my child to be in their own bed feeling sad or even crying because they want to be with me, I mean who knows what emotions they might be feeling? And I can promise you that the day will come (wether I sleep train or not) that they will find it more convenient to just fall asleep again rather then dragging a pillow and blanket to my bed.

Then I’m going to be the one feeling sad, so why not enjoy having them sleep with me while I can?

Oh.

Right.

Because they have both, way exceeded that 6 month mark!!

But, I’m also supposed to enjoy them while they’re little?!

Does It Really Matter?

Did you know that there is no two people exactly alike?

Did you know, that means, there is no other family exactly like yours?

It means that no one else has children exactly like yours.

Why then, do we think we need to parent like everyone else?

What works for their child, may or may not work for ours.

There isn’t only one way to parent correctly.

There is many ways to solve a parenting problem correctly, and with a lot of the things a parent faces, the method you choose isn’t all that important, all that matters really is that it is done with love.

Siblings will fight.

Should we intervene and solve all their squabbles, or should we give them guidelines, such as no name-calling, no yelling, no hitting, and then let them learn how to solve relationship problems on their own, with us only intervening as needed?

Children will get hurt.

Should we run to their rescue every time their actions could possibly land them in trouble, or should we let them learn that there is good or bad consequences to the choices they make? (With in reason obviously. Please don’t let your 2 yr old lose on the house roof!) 🙂

As long as our children feel loved, does it really matter whether we sleep train or not? Wether we are overly protective or not?

Does it really matter?!

Pick Your Battles

Does it really matter if your child eats his own boogers?

Ok yea, that matters because its pretty gross!! 🙂

Still, it’s not going to kill then spiritually, physically or emotionally so does it really matter?

Or, maybe it will leave an emotional scar. Ok, I need a better example because I just can’t justify letting your child eat boogers.

Does it really matter though?

Does it really matter if my one year old cleans out the tupperware cabinet every single day?

Or, is it more important to let him be a normal, exploring little guy?

Does it really matter if the bathroom looks like a flash flood went through after my 3 year old takes a bath?

Or, is it more important that she enjoys her bath without getting yelled at for every little slash?

Does it really matter if the meatloaf is squished excessively by little girl hands?

Or is it more important that she’s learning the art of ‘helping.’

Does it really matter if my 11 month old seems to consume more dirt then food? (This is only mostly true.) :p

Or, is it more important that he enjoys life and has mama who isn’t stressed 24/7 from trying to keep up with his hand to mouth action?

There’s obviously things that do matter.

Like keeping our kids off the road, or keeping them from breaking things, hurting each other, being impolite, the list is endless really.

They will never be perfect though, so is it really worth our time to be trying to perfect them? If we pick at every little thing, at the end of the day it will feel like all we did was yell NO all day.

What matters to you?

What can you put up with and what needs to be dealt with?

Is boogie eating tolerable to you? Then let it slide! It won’t kill them spiritually, physically or emotionally.                             (please, please don’t tolerate boogie eating.) 🙂

Pick your battles and fight them. The things that you can tolerate, let them slide.

Oh, and by the way, the mama who doesn’t let her kids eat their boogers…

don’t worry about what she thinks, her kids probably still sleep with her almost every night!

Imagine that!! 

Be who you are, love those kiddos and raise them to love and serve the Lord and you will be doing an awesome job!

No matter how many boogers they eat. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Parenting Outside The Box

  1. Oh..and you could write a whole blog on the “just enjoy them while they’re young” line. I get it and I need to hear it, but how come that’s all most people say?!! What’s so bad about them when they’re grown? 😳 And it’s not very encouraging on the sleepless nights or when your baby cries so much you feel like you’re gonna lose your mind😜 We really need to come up with something more encouraging. Anyway, I’ll stop now. 😄

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